Just touching base with the World

Wow is the only word I can use to describe these past months. So far, I have missed the month of May and half of April, and June will be half way through before I know the outcome of tests I need to take (to determine what the next steps will be for this disease, which truthfully is still undiagnosed). Even though I have not been a part of the World, I still feel connected through TV, although I am not sure how good that is. What a box of negativity!

Okay, so I play solitaire and do crosswords to try and keep my mind sharp (it's very difficult to write when you are very anemic...hindered blood flow to the brain I guess), but tv has been a companion of sorts. Keeping up with the news though is as painful as this condition, but instead of my colon being affected, it is my heart.

So much damage out there, so much hatred, anger, and oppression, no wonder we are so unhealthy. I have much to write about when my blood comes back full strength, but in the meantime, am I allowed to offer some unsolicited advice to all who are out there and going about your lives? PLEASE DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED RIGHT NOW!

If there is anything I can say without a doubt is we need to be thankful and grateful for everything we have and who we are connected with. With all the negativity out there, can you make up with your aunt, sister, friend, or co-worker, (you know, the one you have been arguing with) and remember the boys and girls oversees fighting for our incredibly real and terrifying issues? Can you come home tonight and just kiss your spouse and kids and say thank you for being in my life? Can you tell your boss or your employees, 'let's stick together and get through the tough times.' And finally, can you be thankful for everything that is happening to you even if it hurts because it is probably what you need?

I teach unconditional love. Sounds really corny right? Too bad. We need to hear it. We need to use it, practice it, and learn more about why we aren't manipulating ourselves more to give it. The World is hard to control, but we can't even control our own mouths, hearts, and actions when it comes to giving positive energy to others. Watch one reality tv show and you know we are in bad shape individually, let alone collectively. If we all just start being grateful and clean up a few loose ends in the 'giving love' department, we can change massive negative energy all around us. And guess what? Doing so makes you a happy person, minute to minute, day to day, no matter what is going on in the World.

Gratitude is hard when you are so down, but I have to say, I am actually thankful for my illness. Although it has stricken my body down so severely, I am now feeling an uplift in spirituality I have never felt before. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! for what power I am getting. I can't wait till my body can keep up with it and I can bring it out in writings and teachings. In the meantime, since I can't get out there yet, I need help. Go out and give a little gratitude today. If you feel up to it, throw out some goodness. And if you are really motivated, change a negative in your life using love energy. And if you do, write me about it. I am desperate to hear I still have the ability to inspire someone, even if I am stuck in bed. D.

A Humbling Experience

It's hard to believe a month has passed since I have been able to write. Unfortunately, I have been ill for many weeks and trying to recuperate. Even though I have an incredibly healthy body, it seems a part of my anatomy (my colon) just doesn't want to be a part of the happy family.

On steriods and just getting back from the hospital, I am here to say that I have never felt more ready to let go of life. I have always had so much sympathy for ailing people and I make it my life's work to advocate for them, but this illness has taken me to the next level of appreciation for the strength it takes to want to keep going.

I keep asking for my lessons, willing to see and hear what I need to change in order to get better and get back to life. I beleive I was supposed to go through this just to remember how precious our health is and how incredibly vulnerable we are to the body we are housed in.

While I recuperate, I hope to have the ability to write more about what I am learning. In the meantime, please have patience with me as I try and build up my energy and gather what I need to get to the next level on my journey. I can't stress enough how much I will and desire for all of you to appreciate all that you have. Don't compromise the body that you are in and take care of yourself. It will be worth it. D.

Bloom Where You Are Standing

That was the title of a book I read years ago. It reminds me that this is a very important time of year. Everything is being renewed and we should take advantage of the energy surrounding us by making changes and becoming our best selves. Do a little thatching and weeding (get rid of negativity you have been holding onto), do some fertilizing (fill your body with goodness and your mind with potent info), plant some seeds (make new goals) and then move forward with the belief that you will be blossoming in no time with the most incredible fruits and flowers you have ever seen.

Every day is a time for renewal, but during this season we have the benefit of everything around us rejuvenating so it is easier to get into the spirit of change and growth. This year, try planting yourself and see what happens!

Passover and Easter

Did everyone know that the last supper was a seder? Or at least that is what some say. I think it is nice to share a celebration even it it has different meanings to different religions. The most important aspect to me is coming together, because we seldom do.

Years ago, it was so festive. My mother spent so much time shopping with us for Easter dresses in pastel colors with little white patent leather shoes and lace top anklet socks. Does anyone remember easter bonnets? I HATED wearing those hats! But back in the day, you were not allowed in church without something on your head. Today, I would LOVE to wear a bonnet! How cool to have a reason to wear a hat.

Times have changed, but the reason for the celebration is the same. I hope everyone finds the time to bring a little spirituality into your holiday. Remember what you are thankful for; Eat healthy and try not to use the excuse "it's tradition". New traditions can (and should) be started every year, don't you think?

Happy holidays to everyone!

Resistance: When Letting Go Still Isn't Enough

Part of me feels I don't have the right to talk/write about this subject because I get into a state of resistance often and have trouble getting out. Maybe, though, this gives me an advantage, because the more often you have to do something, the more practice you get. Ah, who is kidding who. I haven't conquered resistance so all the more reason we should talk about it!

"Let Go and Let God." Great advice, but sometimes you can want to release, but part of you resists. Did you know that you can want and desire nothing more than to let go, but there are attributes you posses as a human that would totally preclude you from doing this? Yes, there are actually safe guards put in place that may keep you from seeing what is really inside of yourself that is resisting healing. Things that have happened to you from a very young age that are so terrifying or hurtful that your body and psyche won't allow you to "see" or feel out of fear you can't handle them. So if that is the case, how can you let go of them if you don't even know what they are?

We all have "drivers"; things that exist within us that push or pull us out of our soulful place of peace and tranquility and throw us into a tailspin of anxiety, anger, or fear. These drivers come from external and internal factions and sometimes we are not in control of how they make us feel. Part of the manipulation process is in recognizing what could be driving us at any given time. Another part of the process is to use the info to manipulate out of a mood, thought, action before it hurts us or others. But wouldn't it be great if we could get rid of the negative drivers in the first place? That (healing) is the best part of positive manipulation!

This is an open blog ladies and gents, and I would love your help in figuring out how to resist releasing. As much as I know about this process, I would love input from your own experiences in letting go and your resistance to it. Let's remember, there are physical, emotional, mental, and spirutual aspects to release so try and cover all the bases. If you have rid yourself of negativity that was extreme and would like to share it, we are all ears!

Making Amends

This weekend I have heard of three instances of atonement, whereby a person who has done someone wrong came forward to apologize and try to make amends for their egregious act. I happen to be the recipient of two of those apologizes, one directly and one indirectly. It made me think it was too coincidental. There must be a lesson coming.

So I started thinking about what the lesson could be and of how the apologies made me feel. Truthfully, there was no impact. I think my first thought was, "Oh, how nice. They finally realized they could come to me and forgive themselves." Truth is, I had forgiven both parties long ago so there was no ease of my pain or significant change in my life. I was happy, however, that they could finally find some peace for themselves.

When we forgive someone of any act, we don't impact them as much as we help ourselves. It is really like saying, "I am okay with what that person has done to me. I am able to see their possible reasons for doing/saying what they did and I don't want to feel any more negativity on this issue or from this person. I forgive them. I can move on."

If you think about it, you completely sever the energy between yourself and the other person when you do that. It makes you wonder, does that break in energy cause the other person discomfort? I believe the answer is a profound, YES! And when you break that energy between yourself and another person, they have nothing to grab onto. There is no potential to hurt you again. So forgiving them is not a completely selfless act. Instead, it is a symbiotic gesture, meaning, mutually satisfying. And guess what...that is what is expected of us from a Universal standpoint.

You may not believe it, but forgiveness is the best thing you can do for yourself, and if you want retribution, it may be the only way it can come without ricocheting harm back to you in the future. By that I mean, if you retaliate in any way other than forgiveness, you are just generating more negative energy for yourself, not necessarily the other person. Forgiveness is the ultimate healer and if your motive is to teach the person a lesson, than it is the best teacher as well.

I am happy that I forgave the people in my life who have tried to cause me harm. I say try because in every instance, I learned valuable lessons that have helped me grow and learn. Every time I look back, I change the past. I never see what negative was done, only what positive came from it. If you don't believe we have the power to change the past, then think again. It is one of our most powerful assets as humans. Consider your past hurts and if you haven't already, forgive and don't forget......to look for all the good that can come out of it. D.

A little negativity goes a long way

Many years ago I wrote an article for a Long Island Magazine with this same title. The premise was that even a small amount of negativity can create a huge reaction. The truth is, negative energy has very little power. Unfortunately, there is so much of it that it "feels" strong. Positive thoughts, actions, words and feelings are far more powerful and yet, sometimes they seems so difficult to utilize.

This week, a very angry person came on the blog to express their dislike for me. He/she believes I am a phony and an angry person because of dealings he/she had with me many years ago. Their negative attitude was so appauling to some of my clients that it generated an outpour of retaliation and anger towards "Anonymous". Of course I was happy to see so many people not have the same opinion, but truthfully, the "anonymous" writer didn't make me angry. It was so obvious to me that he/she was in pain, it made me sad. All I wanted to do was help them heal.

I don't know what day one wakes up and decides to love unconditionally. I do know that when it happens, you never go back. You never again decide to hate or even use derogatory words. When you get rid of anger, and replace it with love, your body rises off the floor. Your skin radiates from the inner glow. Your eyes sparkle from knowingness and your mouth flourishes with beautiful words. It makes you think, "why would I ever want negativity to effect me again when I can be like this all the time?"

When I get hate mail, and thankfully that is very seldom, I think of Jesus. He had so many people who loved him and yet he was hung on a cross and left to die at the hands of people who hated him. If he could take being cruicifed in that way, than I can take a little spewing from someone who most probably needs my help more than anyone.

The lesson here is quite clear, we need to heal what is within ourselves, to look at what is not right or what could be hurtful to others and decide to correct it. No one can judge another. No one can decide who is bad or who is good. Look behind the words of Anonymous and decide that you want to help them rather than ridicule them and you will teach them an entirely different approach to negativity; An approach that is attached with humility, empathy, and the kind of love that transforms lives.

A final note to Anonymous: the past is not who we are, it only details what we have been through. Who we are is how we decide to be, now and every minute of every day forward. Every day is an opportunity to start a New Day. D.