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It's hard to believe a month has passed since I have been able to write. Unfortunately, I have been ill for many weeks and trying to recuperate. Even though I have an incredibly healthy body, it seems a part of my anatomy (my colon) just doesn't want to be a part of the happy family.
On steriods and just getting back from the hospital, I am here to say that I have never felt more ready to let go of life. I have always had so much sympathy for ailing people and I make it my life's work to advocate for them, but this illness has taken me to the next level of appreciation for the strength it takes to want to keep going.
I keep asking for my lessons, willing to see and hear what I need to change in order to get better and get back to life. I beleive I was supposed to go through this just to remember how precious our health is and how incredibly vulnerable we are to the body we are housed in.
While I recuperate, I hope to have the ability to write more about what I am learning. In the meantime, please have patience with me as I try and build up my energy and gather what I need to get to the next level on my journey. I can't stress enough how much I will and desire for all of you to appreciate all that you have. Don't compromise the body that you are in and take care of yourself. It will be worth it. D.
11 comments:
this is better news and some prayers and positive energy to your recovery.
you have also made so many good choices/changes in your life so far and that will help you to overcome this that much more quickly. You will defeat this, I am certain.
I think you should accept the fact that you don't have an incredible healthy body. Hard to admit that you have a serious problem but you must deal with it. If nothing else you should be listening to your doctor's advice and act on his recommendations.
We all have our trials and tribulations and this is now yours. We all have to pick ourselves up and do what is needed to regain a healthy life style. Yes, your condition is serious but many of us have a larger demons to deal with and do so every day.
You have labeled yourself a positive manipulator but are not doing so at this time. Roll up your shirt sleeves and dig in, it's now or never.
You are so lucky to hide behind your anonymous title. You can say and do anything you want, as callous or malicious and no one can say a thing to your face or hold you accountable.
I on the other hand have left myself vulnerable to hurt and ridicule but I am glad to be honest. Yes, I am sick and you would have no idea how sick I am because you don't even know me. I am lucky to have people who do though and who are pulling for me and praying. Thank God for goodness and kindness and for those friends and family.
I shutter to think that people like you are lurking out there tryig to knock me down at every juncture. Especially now when I am so weak. Why do you keep coming on here and writing? Why do you get so much pleasure in it? You can stay away and live your life and allow me to help those who want my help. There is no need for negativity. Not ever. Peace and love is so much better. Don't you want that? D.
I replied to your comment but it must have gotten lost.
I did not mean to be malicious in any way. What I was meaning is that you must admit, if only to yourself, that you are ill and must do whatever you must to get healthy again.
I have helped many, many people with cancer battle to regain their health. Some battles won and others lost. I am not comparing your illness to cancer just trying to implore you to do whatever is necessary to battle your illness. You mentioned wanting to give up and that is not a positive thought. I do not believe in negativity and wanted to discourage you from the same.
You are right, I don't know you but was trying to give some, I thought, much needed advice.
You seem very angry with me for trying to light a fire under you. I am very honest and sometimes to a fault. Sometimes my honestly hurts my profession but still I always speak the truth regardless the consequences.
This is my first comment and probably my last. I deal with real issues daily, sometimes horrible circumstances and sometimes rewarded with many of my clients living a full and happy life.
I wish everyone peace, love, harmony and a wonderful quality of life.
Amanda
Amanda, It sounds like you have some experience with dealing with illness but I don't think you could possibly know the whole story. I will be writing about it soon and you will understand.
You should know though that Sometimes "will" doesn't come from spirituality or an emotional state. Sometimes it is physical. Sometimes it is okay to let go! And sometimes we have to remember that delivering information to people in a vulnerable state is not of value if it is not what they need to hear.
Rule of thumb when dealing with anyone is to not say what you want to say, but instead what the person needs to hear. If you don't know the person, don't assume. If you allow for grace, you will hear messages and possibly know what to say, but your motive has to be about them. not you.
The most important aspect of positive manipulation is in NOT saying what you want to say, but instead what is needed for the other person and for the energy to become positive. Obviously you didn't achieve your goal here. Obviously I am highly sensitive right now and could have handled your message better. I was also on the alert for more negativity from our other "anonymous" writer. Perhaps if you had signed on with your name, it would have been handled differently on my end, and I apologize for that.
In the future, if you want to render advice, really let go of what is in your mind and ask a higher power, "what does she/he need to hear?" Make your motive to be for them, and watch the magic happen. Sometimes nothing will come in and guess what? That usually means to say nothing.
During this illness, the most precious moments were from those who said they missed me, those who were praying for me and others who just wanted to help. That is what is getting me stronger, and I am so grateful for all them.
I am also glad a don't know "Amanda" personally or professionally. Thanks for posting "her" comments even though you did not have to. I proves that even through illness you are trying to improve someone, somehow, someway. As I said before, you will defeat this and soon, i feel it.
Thanks Joe for your sentiments. I guess being sick has made me ultra senstive and it is coming out in my responses.
I hope soon to be able to write about much of it. A very important aspect of my lesson through this has been to see how much negativity we cause on ourselves and one another and how little love we show. I am sure sickness is attached to all of it, meaning, physical sickness has to be attached to the emotional and mental negativity we deal with every day.
If everyone just thought first before they spoke, so much pain could be prevented. If everyone just took a second to say to themselves, "what positive can I say" right before they spoke to someone, so much negativity could be avoided!!!!
I guess though it goes to motive and intention. We all need to make sure the energy and power behind what we do and say is altruistic and not self serving. When we can do that, the World will change. I am sure of it. D.
If something is written and not to your liking why do you not remove the comment?
Why do you respond to "Joe" when he shows negativity to any comments posted by others? His attitude is certainly negative and yet you applaud him.
Amanda is a wonderful, giving, honest,educated, helpful person that gives 100% of herself every single day. She has dealt with death on a regular basis and has helped many who wanted to give up and give in to it. I believe she was just doing her job in her advice to you, trying to give some hope where maybe none was there.
Amanda has nursed me through many hard days and nights and with her love and devotion, has helped me find hope and the fight that was needed for me to survive.
Amanda does not deserve the response that was given by anyone, especially Joe. Not until you have walked in her shoes can you speak about something you know nothing about.
Amanda's patient, Patti
Whether you know it or not Patti, Joe was just trying to help me feel better. As far as Amanda's anonymous letter to me, she made me cry and upset me very much. I am happy for you that she helped you. She didn't help me and her words were harsh but that is the chance you take when you write and emotion can be misunderstood.
For once and for all, let's all stop the negativity. We don't know Amanda and we are not saying anything negative about her only that what she said was not helping and it hurt because she knew nothing about the situation.
For the record, I post everything. In the condition I was in, I was hurt by Amanda and guess what, I am allowed to feel that way. I felt absolutely no love or kindness in her statements. You are blessed to know her in the way that you do. God Bless and let's be done with this post once and for all.
To Patti,
I hear in your words care, love and compassion for Amanda just as my words demonstrate my love for Donna. Once you understand that you can comment fairly.
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