Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Resistance: When Letting Go Still Isn't Enough

Part of me feels I don't have the right to talk/write about this subject because I get into a state of resistance often and have trouble getting out. Maybe, though, this gives me an advantage, because the more often you have to do something, the more practice you get. Ah, who is kidding who. I haven't conquered resistance so all the more reason we should talk about it!

"Let Go and Let God." Great advice, but sometimes you can want to release, but part of you resists. Did you know that you can want and desire nothing more than to let go, but there are attributes you posses as a human that would totally preclude you from doing this? Yes, there are actually safe guards put in place that may keep you from seeing what is really inside of yourself that is resisting healing. Things that have happened to you from a very young age that are so terrifying or hurtful that your body and psyche won't allow you to "see" or feel out of fear you can't handle them. So if that is the case, how can you let go of them if you don't even know what they are?

We all have "drivers"; things that exist within us that push or pull us out of our soulful place of peace and tranquility and throw us into a tailspin of anxiety, anger, or fear. These drivers come from external and internal factions and sometimes we are not in control of how they make us feel. Part of the manipulation process is in recognizing what could be driving us at any given time. Another part of the process is to use the info to manipulate out of a mood, thought, action before it hurts us or others. But wouldn't it be great if we could get rid of the negative drivers in the first place? That (healing) is the best part of positive manipulation!

This is an open blog ladies and gents, and I would love your help in figuring out how to resist releasing. As much as I know about this process, I would love input from your own experiences in letting go and your resistance to it. Let's remember, there are physical, emotional, mental, and spirutual aspects to release so try and cover all the bases. If you have rid yourself of negativity that was extreme and would like to share it, we are all ears!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Making Amends

This weekend I have heard of three instances of atonement, whereby a person who has done someone wrong came forward to apologize and try to make amends for their egregious act. I happen to be the recipient of two of those apologizes, one directly and one indirectly. It made me think it was too coincidental. There must be a lesson coming.

So I started thinking about what the lesson could be and of how the apologies made me feel. Truthfully, there was no impact. I think my first thought was, "Oh, how nice. They finally realized they could come to me and forgive themselves." Truth is, I had forgiven both parties long ago so there was no ease of my pain or significant change in my life. I was happy, however, that they could finally find some peace for themselves.

When we forgive someone of any act, we don't impact them as much as we help ourselves. It is really like saying, "I am okay with what that person has done to me. I am able to see their possible reasons for doing/saying what they did and I don't want to feel any more negativity on this issue or from this person. I forgive them. I can move on."

If you think about it, you completely sever the energy between yourself and the other person when you do that. It makes you wonder, does that break in energy cause the other person discomfort? I believe the answer is a profound, YES! And when you break that energy between yourself and another person, they have nothing to grab onto. There is no potential to hurt you again. So forgiving them is not a completely selfless act. Instead, it is a symbiotic gesture, meaning, mutually satisfying. And guess what...that is what is expected of us from a Universal standpoint.

You may not believe it, but forgiveness is the best thing you can do for yourself, and if you want retribution, it may be the only way it can come without ricocheting harm back to you in the future. By that I mean, if you retaliate in any way other than forgiveness, you are just generating more negative energy for yourself, not necessarily the other person. Forgiveness is the ultimate healer and if your motive is to teach the person a lesson, than it is the best teacher as well.

I am happy that I forgave the people in my life who have tried to cause me harm. I say try because in every instance, I learned valuable lessons that have helped me grow and learn. Every time I look back, I change the past. I never see what negative was done, only what positive came from it. If you don't believe we have the power to change the past, then think again. It is one of our most powerful assets as humans. Consider your past hurts and if you haven't already, forgive and don't forget......to look for all the good that can come out of it. D.

Friday, March 13, 2009

A little negativity goes a long way

Many years ago I wrote an article for a Long Island Magazine with this same title. The premise was that even a small amount of negativity can create a huge reaction. The truth is, negative energy has very little power. Unfortunately, there is so much of it that it "feels" strong. Positive thoughts, actions, words and feelings are far more powerful and yet, sometimes they seems so difficult to utilize.

This week, a very angry person came on the blog to express their dislike for me. He/she believes I am a phony and an angry person because of dealings he/she had with me many years ago. Their negative attitude was so appauling to some of my clients that it generated an outpour of retaliation and anger towards "Anonymous". Of course I was happy to see so many people not have the same opinion, but truthfully, the "anonymous" writer didn't make me angry. It was so obvious to me that he/she was in pain, it made me sad. All I wanted to do was help them heal.

I don't know what day one wakes up and decides to love unconditionally. I do know that when it happens, you never go back. You never again decide to hate or even use derogatory words. When you get rid of anger, and replace it with love, your body rises off the floor. Your skin radiates from the inner glow. Your eyes sparkle from knowingness and your mouth flourishes with beautiful words. It makes you think, "why would I ever want negativity to effect me again when I can be like this all the time?"

When I get hate mail, and thankfully that is very seldom, I think of Jesus. He had so many people who loved him and yet he was hung on a cross and left to die at the hands of people who hated him. If he could take being cruicifed in that way, than I can take a little spewing from someone who most probably needs my help more than anyone.

The lesson here is quite clear, we need to heal what is within ourselves, to look at what is not right or what could be hurtful to others and decide to correct it. No one can judge another. No one can decide who is bad or who is good. Look behind the words of Anonymous and decide that you want to help them rather than ridicule them and you will teach them an entirely different approach to negativity; An approach that is attached with humility, empathy, and the kind of love that transforms lives.

A final note to Anonymous: the past is not who we are, it only details what we have been through. Who we are is how we decide to be, now and every minute of every day forward. Every day is an opportunity to start a New Day. D.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Can't Wait to do Yoga on the Beach!

This is definitely my time of year. I am sorry to say, I can't handle the lack of sun the Winter brings, but thanks to my sunsplash machine that delivers vitamin D through my skin, I made it through this tough winter without too much trouble.

Soon, the weather will be nice enough to walk the beach in the early morning. Then after that, the summer will roll in with more and more light to enjoy outdoor activity.

This year, I hope many people join me in sunrise yoga at Roosevelt Beach. There is nothing better than starting your day facing the morning sun with salt air kissing your face. Come to think of it, I don't think there is any form of exercise that can bring you closer to nature than yoga, but I am sooooo prejudiced! Please blog me your idea of the perfect workout. Everyone needs a head start in Spring to get going. We want all the ideas we can get! D.