Monday, March 26, 2012

Your Body Has Rights Too

“My daughter has always been an overeater all her life. Ever since she was two, all she did was eat!” This was the statement made to me by the mother of a very depressed and mal-adjusted 21 year old woman. My face contorted as she told me about the lap band surgery she allowed her to have at 18 years old, her constant depression, body aches and inability to have friends or boyfriends. My first reaction (that went unspoken) was who fed her so much? Did she waddle, diaper-clad into the kitchen as a toddler and start making pasta?

My frustration is constant lately. We, as a nation, are not getting it! Food and over-eating are destroying us in so many ways, and we are purposely ignoring the devastation because we don’t want to feel deprived. I don’t want anyone to feel deprived either, but let’s change our minds about what we want! If we keep closing our eyes to this reality, we will be depriving ourselves of health and wellness, of the liberty of a free life, of goodness and peace of mind and most probably, self love.

When this woman spoke of her daughter’s mental illness, the drugs she was on and the special school she needed to attend as a teen, my heart was breaking. Why? Because I felt deep down that I could have helped them prevent almost all of it. This girl started out life with a disadvantage. He mother wanted to love her through food, but unfortunately, food is not love. Food is chemicals on a plate, and those chemicals can either help us or hurt us depending on our body’s foundation. Her daughter may have had a genetic factor or predisposition to depression and obesity, but that didn’t have to determine her life’s path. DNA is only a blueprint. I feel certain that with the right diet and amino acids, fine tuned to her needs, so many of her symptoms could have been avoided.

Throughout my time as a wellness coach, I have seen so many diseases and symptoms reverse, or at the very least, lessen in severity with diet change. Conditions like hormonal imbalances, depression, addictions, OCD, diabetes, even learning disabilities. Did you know that over 80% of rheumatoid arthritis is due to a gluten and/or dairy intolerance? So many aches and pains can be avoided by eliminating foods. How easy it is to just not put something in our mouths? Yet, we Americans can’t seem to stop ourselves from eating what we deem pleasurable. My question is, “How pleasurable is it to feel sick?”

Hippocrates, the father of medicine said, “Before you treat a sick person, first change their diet. If that doesn’t work, treat the illness.” He lived over 4,000 years ago and he knew then what doctors now haven’t even been trained to understand. But to tell you the truth, we don’t need them to tell us. We should understand this ourselves since we are the ones shopping for it, paying for it (in more ways than one), cooking it and eating it! Instead of believing the ads and the ignorance, we need to believe in our symptoms, which are our body’s way of telling us, “This is not good for me.”

The US Constitution states that it is your unalienable Right to pursue life, liberty and happiness. So what are you doing for your body’s constitution? What rights does it have? How can it stay beautiful, athletic, expressive, supple, young and disease free if you don’t make a conscious effort to take care of it? No, you are not having a bad day or a bad life. You are having a bad diet. We need to take responsibility for the state our body is in, and when we do, it gives us control, and when we take control, we can finally create change. Love your body. It is all you have in this world. Without it, you’re out.

Written by Donna Martini, March 26, 2012

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Did I Do That to Myself?

Recently I was in a meeting with two women who run a school for girls. They asked me to speak at a seminar about how physical fitness can contribute to a positive mental attitude in young women. I was excited to do it and our pre-meeting went well…or so I thought.

A few days after speaking with them, one of the women told me I offended her associate. She said, “She was upset when you said that we are responsible for everything that happens to us.” Apparently, this woman had cancer some years ago and did not appreciate the fact that I was accusing her of bringing on her illness. Taken out of context, my statement can sound awfully rigid and unsympathetic. But if she was really listening to me, she would have realized that what I was saying was empowering her to create change.

Many people believe that sickness just happens. They assume we have little or no participation and are just unlucky enough to be stricken by disease. As a wellness coach, I teach the opposite. We might not be knowingly bringing in a condition, but we certainly contribute.

From the physical, emotional and mental aspects of being human, all the way to the spiritual, there are many reasons why discord in any one or more of them could lead to sickness.

I have always believed that auto-immune diseases were multi-pronged. It made sense to me that we couldn’t find a cure because we didn’t have a handle on the cause. Some years later, I was able to sit with scientists at Cold Spring Harbor Labs on Long Island who have come to the same conclusions. These researchers spoke of the four factors of disease: genetic, environmental, nutritional and emotional. In other words, who you were born to, where you live, what you breathe and are exposed to, what you eat and absorb, and how you handle stress all play a role in determining how your body heals itself and prevents sickness. The experts found that you need an imbalance in at least two, most likely three of these factors to create a disease in your body. I call this “the perfect storm.”

So how does this discovery help us? It is exciting and encouraging news! Think about all the control we have over at least three of those factors. Genes will make you predisposed, but what you were born with DOES NOT necessarily dictate the direction your body has to take. Knowing that we have responsibility in the “getting there” of a diseased state gives us control, NOT BLAME. It helps us to determine our own destiny, not one that is somehow cast upon us.

Do you think you are doing everything right? Perhaps you are…at this moment. But now that you know ALL of the aspects you can improve upon, are there things you might want to change? For me and my disease, which is Crohn’s, there was unaddressed emotional stress from my past that was literally attacking my colon. At the time I developed the condition, I had no idea how trauma could contribute to disease. Do I blame myself for this? NO! But now that I understand, I am taking the appropriate steps to learn how to better deal with issues that plagued me in the past so I can protect myself in the future. At this point in time, I am living a full and active life without drugs even though I have a devastating illness. I owe this to my healthy lifestyle, but more importantly to my attitude and acceptance of my participation in the direction this disease takes. In the end, I have Crohn’s. Crohn’s doesn’t have me.

When it comes to taking responsibility, consider it a power play that allows you to be in command of your own body. Can we manage everything that happens to us? We can only do our best based on what we know at any given moment, and that is what I am suggesting. Open your mind to the possibilities and you will be amazed at the information that pours in. Take care to listen to the body you came in, and that body will always try and take care of you.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

“You’re the Inspiration”

Yesterday I woke up to this beautiful song playing on my radio alarm clock. It stuck in my head and an hour later when I picked an Angel Card for my daily “inspiration,” the SIGNALS card flipped over. “Look for the songs” it said so I did. I found the tune on YouTube and really listened to the words.

Although some of us may not have a special someone to love, we always carry the energy of the person we are supposed to be with. The right partner does not just pop up and out of the cabbage patch the day you actually meet them. They are living beings waiting for you as well.

In order to bring in the partner that is your perfect match though, you need to become ready. I always say, “If I want a great guy, I’ve got to be a great girl!” What I mean by that is: If we want someone who is wonderful and has all the qualities we desire, we need to become as wonderful for them, or there will be an imbalance, and they won’t be “attracted” to us. Like energy attracts itself. If we don’t become what we need to be, we will bring in people and relationships that will carry lessons we need to learn from in order to grow. Instead of continuously bringing in more lessons, we need to hold onto the energy and qualities of the one we want to attract, and then build ourselves, our persona and our bodies to match the vibration that person carries.

Listen to Chicago’s song and think about the man or woman you want to bring in. Don’t put a face on this person. Leave that open for the Universe to decide. You might think you know who you want, but you can’t possibly know the best partner for you. Trust that when you put out your intention for your best mate, there is a higher power at work. You only need to imagine yourself in a loving relationship with your perfect match and that higher power will provide the ways and means to bring him or her in. Listen for the SIGNALS. Get ready by becoming the best you can be. Become inspired by the person you desire! Believe you deserve this person and they will come. It is your destiny.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Excerpt from "The Ten Commandments of Divorce," Confessions of a Recall-a-holic"

Confessions of a Recall-a-Holic

I have to admit, I am famous for this one as any man in my former life would attest to. During my marriage and in other relationships, I would continuously recount every episode until I was red with rage. Of course, this got me nowhere and it was usually at some point during my “how can I ever forget when you…!” diatribe that my partner’s ears would flop over. Truthfully, I have a notion that women do this more than men do. It is as if we rehash our pain through every episode we encounter and they all seem to trigger the same emotion. So when a current episode feels just like a past one, we tend to think it is necessary to recall them all! Not helpful, but we do it anyway. Here’s the thing though; you are not married anymore, so there is nothing to be gained by bringing up old hurts and pains. Instead, save it for your therapist and if you want to take it a step further, use the negative episodes to figure out what common denominator they all carry, namely you!

Learning From Their Mistakes

On my life journey, I realized I was attracting the same hurt and pain from every man I was in a relationship with. And that notion was confirmed some years ago after spending time researching American Indian Medicine. In the book, “Medicine Cards” by Jamie Sams and David Carson, the authors describe how Native Americans use animals to recognize their strengths and frailties, and they turn to “animal medicine” to heal. There is a delightful story about a rabbit that brought so much clarity to me, I have to share it.

At one time, the rabbit was considered courageous and bold, but after encountering a witch, he was cursed with attracting fear into his realm. Since then, the rabbit has been referred to as the “Fear Caller.” While peacefully grazing in a field, the rabbit will look up and see an eagle. Sams and Carson write, “He goes out and shouts, ‘Eagle, I am afraid of you!’ If Eagle does not hear him, Rabbit calls louder, ‘Eagle, stay away from me!’ Eagle, now hearing Rabbit, comes and eats him.” This story sounded crazy to me until the authors revealed the ancient wisdom behind the tale. “As the story shows, Rabbit medicine people are so afraid of tragedy, illness, disaster and of ‘being taken,’ that they call those very fears to them to teach them lessons. The key note here is: what you resist will persist! What you fear most is what you will become.” Being a student of energy, I recognized the law of attraction right away, and then it was seconds later when I realized my long-time fear of emotional abandonment was almost luring in, energetically and unwittingly, men who were masters at emotional escape.

The picture was becoming crystal clear: Since every fight I had was over the same issues with each man, it would trigger the pain from all past issues that were never resolved. When I found my own weakness and realized I was the common denominator in each of these relationships, I decided I needed to change myself and work on those very issues that were keeping me from staying in the present. My thought was, “If I want a great guy, I have to be a great woman!” I understand now that if I didn’t take responsibility for the annoying habit of rehashing, it would have never changed no matter what man I was with. It became obvious that the mistakes they made with me became my lessons to learn from.