Friday, April 13, 2018

When to recognize Self-Betrayal

Bottom line, some people aren't good for our self-esteem; we just don't feel good about ourselves when we are around them. Here is what I have found in dealing with these scenarios: Whenever we aren't feeling honored by someone, we probably aren't honoring ourselves.

So often I hear stories of imbalanced relationships, betrayal, hurt, pain, and downright wrongdoing. I know, for me, I've given many people the benefit of the doubt even when it was clear they were not (sometimes could not) offer reciprocal love, honor, and/or friendship. Why do we do that? Here is my take: We are good people (meaning, we are trying our best) and want to believe in the goodness of others. We want to assume others are going to act like us, so we want to trust and believe things will get better. The truth is, many of us are in touch with our own soul and the souls of others, and when we see, hear, and feel that goodness in them, we can't always see and hear their ego. We feel it, for sure! But we ignore that gut feeling and keep the relationship going while we hope for the best.

What can we do about that? We can always assess the truth about a person and relationship when we finally decide to honor our own soul's voice, our own life, and our own personal agenda. And that doesn't mean we always have to cut people off completely. Once we honor ourselves, our energy changes. When we rise in self-love, esteem, and worthiness, it is tougher to be taken advantage of! People will respond to our energy surge in amazing ways, too. Some will treat us better; others will walk away realizing they can't keep the relationship where they want and need it to be.

Should we be angry at others for what they are or aren't doing for us? Why bother! It just perpetuates negativity, and after all, most people can't even handle their own needs, let alone ours. It may even create more imbalance to expect people to always do what we need and want them to do, especially if deep down, we know they aren't capable of it. Instead, we should try to get to a state of gratitude when we find out that someone cannot give back to us what we are capable of giving to them. It gives us the opportunity to move forward more gracefully, and finally do what we need to do for ourselves.

One other truly important aspect of this process: Sometimes, we are asking for it! If we pray, meditate, and/or set intentions each day to be the best we can be and live the best life we can, we will attract situations that help us move towards that goal! At first, we are shown in innocuous ways what to heal and grow out of, but when awareness is not forthcoming, we will get tougher and tougher scenarios to deal with. Then one day, we just wake up and, like getting hit with a hammer to the head, we realize we are the common denominator in all our life episodes. "Oh...." we will say to ourselves, "It's not 'woe is me.' It's, 'WHOA! It's me!'" And that is the day the real transformation begins.

Friday, March 16, 2018

From Cursing to Curing...

Recently I was sent a video about fighting "stupid cancer." I don't blame anyone for this reaction. My father died of lung cancer 26 years ago at the age of 52 so I understand the anger and the hatred people have towards this disease. I want to ask, though, should we be fighting and hating something about our own bodies? Should we be hating cancer or what causes cancer? Actually, should we be fighting and hating anything at all?

The truth is, when I needed to fight for my life from Crohn's Disease, I wasn't winning. The disease was, and during the battle, it took most of my large intestines as its trophy. And apparently, that wasn't enough because six years later, it came back with a vengeance threatening either lethal cancer or a surgery to remove the rest of my tail end, which meant that I would spend the rest of my life with a poop pouch attached to my belly. Unfortunately, I knew what that felt like having spent four months with one during the first attack. Been there; done that; was determined to not do it again.

So I did what I do best...researched. I scanned the internet for information, read every book and watched hundreds of hours of video about self-healing. I completely changed my diet (organic plant-based, ayurvedic; the works). I meditated, prayed, chanted, journaled, grounded myself with the Earth for hours a day, and that's not all; I also changed my mind about everything! When I felt myself resisting what my own intuition was telling me about my past, my emotions, and my participation in the condition my body was in, I sought out intuitive healers to help in the discovery process. And here is what I came to realize: If I wanted to stop the disease, I had to love and embrace it. After all, it was a part of me that was crying for attention. Hating it would defeat the purpose of healing it! I had to hold that part of myself dear and tell it everything was going to be alright because I was finally listening.

Somehow years ago, the perfect storm formed in me, and I had no idea up until that point that I took part in the formation. I certainly didn't do it on purpose, but it was mine to address and unravel from. The good news about that: If I was the one that inadvertently allowed it to be created, I was the one who could now purposefully help it go away!

After four months of intensive self-help, my doctor probed me with a camera and found me free of inflammation from Crohn's. Much to her dismay too, because she was hell-bent on injecting me with powerful, harmful, and expensive drugs for the rest of my life. The way she was acting about my remission, you'd think I took her cookie away from her during lunch hour. I remained undaunted. I knew what I did; how I did it, and I also knew I would be teaching others how to do the same. The most important aspect of all of it, though, was the understanding of how truly beautiful and magnificently wise we were created. I learned that when illness takes hold, we have to remember that the disease is only a tiny part of us, not the whole. No matter what doctors say our diagnosis is, they don't know and could never know what our prognosis is. We get to decide that because we are self-healing machines that continuously strive for balance and health. When we are taught how to use our minds and heartfelt emotions to address an imbalance, the body responds willingly. On a cellular and sometimes genetic level, it will regenerate, rejuvenate, and recreate itself in order to be well again.

Do drugs, chemo and medical treatments work? A percentage of the time, but we all know the potential for detrimental after effects. Whether we decide to use them or not (and that is a truly personal decision), we still have to address the root causes or the disease can return. We still have to assume responsibility for our bodies and the condition they are in (without blame) because when we accept the illness as a potential imbalance in our physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual state of being, we immediately take control of our healing journey.

The world of medicine is slow to catch up with the human mind, body, and soul's innate wisdom, but we don't have to stay stuck in that world. When we make the decision to be the best we can be, we have so much more than medicine at our disposal. We have All There Is out there to tap into.

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Is America Ready to Face the Real Smoking Gun?

Watching Keanu Reeves last week in the motion picture, "John Wick,” reminded me of my younger years watching Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson, and Chuck Norris movies. I can still remember the vigilante-like adrenaline I felt surging through me as I walked out of the theatre...It was so palpable it made me want to kick something in the parking lot. In a few hours the feeling would wear off but I wonder now, if I wasn't a balanced young woman in her right mind, would I have been capable of violence? Picking a fight? Perhaps bullying? The answer, I believe, is a resounding, "Yes!" After years of research and experience, I've discovered that any combination of past trauma, emotional and mental stress, hormonal and/or biochemical imbalance, and thoughts of helplessness (that turn into anger) is what it takes to create "the perfect storm" in any human being. Whether someone is led to hurt themselves or another, it still originates from what is transpiring in the delicate relationship between the mind and the body.

This recent school shooting energized us, but the truth is, we have a lot more than that to be riled up about. The FBI claims that in 2016, there were an estimated 1,248,185 violent crimes. Other agencies report that in a year, over 321,000 tweens, teens, and adults are the victims of rape and sexual assault, and approximately 1,000 American women (and more worldwide) are murdered by a current or ex-male partner. Another sobering stat: One in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before they turn 18 years old with 34% of their assailants being family members. And the list of violent crimes doesn’t stop there. Without taking away the attention or time we are bringing to guns (and the need to regulate ownership), I'm going to suggest we take the onus off of them as it pertains to motive and cause. There is a much bigger issue we all need to address and that is mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual imbalance.

What does it take to raise a healthy, loving, law-abiding citizen? That's actually an easy question to answer, so we really should be asking, "What does it take to raise an abuser? A killer? An assailant?" We know this answer too, but are we willing to do something about it? Will money and greed keep driving our need to push violence as amusement? Will we continue to allow unfair divorce proceedings to leave kids without one of their parents, most especially their dads? Worse yet, will the over 35% of us going through divorce continue to fight and hate our way through it? Are we going to continue to ignore the potential negative manipulation that food, sugar, pesticides, chemicals, immunizations, and legalized drugs has on our children’s minds and bodies? Are we finally going to analyze how the school environment, curriculum, and stress we put them under is affecting their psyche and physical state of being? Will we keep putting our heads in the sand about what seeing us divided as a nation is doing to instigate their fear about their future? And generational poverty...Will anyone ever be willing to speak frankly without the political left or right slant about one of our saddest stats here in America?

We can initiate new gun laws but that will not rid us of the reasons why someone wants to kill or hurt people. In fact, my fear is that we pass laws, say our hoorays for a job well done, and then never fervently address the real instigators of violent behavior because too many people would have to take too much responsibility for what we aren't doing to help eradicate them. There are many intelligent, wellness-minded people, though, that will say there are easy strategies, and simple--sometimes free, sometimes low-cost--habits and programs we can adopt for our children (from birth on) in our homes, neighborhoods, schools, and states that will prevent crime, addiction, bullying, sickness, disease, mental disorders, drug and alcohol use, and more. They include understanding how we communicate through energy and how love and personal responsibility can promote peace and happiness. These people would suggest changing our curriculum to include more physical and mental exercises that will keep kids balanced and more motivated to live clean and healthy lives. Some new habits would involve daily meditation, self-administered trauma and anti-anxiety therapy, and quite a few other techniques they can use their entire lives to help them deal with the stress that just living life creates. Eventually, the food and drinks we allow them to eat and bring to school would need to be addressed, because it is undeniable: The chemistry put into the body changes the chemistry of the body.

All of this would take our legislators, teachers, police, school administrators, parents, doctors, therapists, and so many more in a position of power to be open-minded, listening, and then willing to move forward together to create positive change. And we know that some are, but we need more. Perhaps so many people, most especially those that are in a position to make decisions, are so stuck doing what they believe is right without taking into account that it is not working! The research is in though. We know more about our intrinsic gifts and how to use them, yet we are still dragging our feet when it comes to changing what we can change and that is irrespective of what government administration--democratic or republican--is in power. I want to know why. I want to ask the powers that be, “When will our kids learn about quantum science? Are they being taught that they are energetic, self-healing beings with hearts and minds so powerful there is nothing that can compare to them in the entire universe?” I want decision makers to give me plausible reasons why billions are being spent dealing with our issues after they cause devastation while so little is being spent on preventing them. Lastly, and most importantly, "Why is everyone so afraid of spirituality? What do we think is going to happen if we start teaching our kids about love?”

We know we are more than our bodies; science has proven that. It isn't that hard to be mindful and loving, and it's incredibly easy to teach it to our children. Why, then, are we making it so damn hard?

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

What do we want to win, love or hate?

Just moments before my father died of lung cancer I made him a promise...that I would fight for new laws and never stop talking about the dangers of cigarettes. That was in 1991, and I kept that promise...sort of. I fought hard but didn't get very far. The reason: I was in a negative state of being. The pain and helplessness I felt for the loss of my dad rolled itself into extreme anger towards the government, the cigarette companies, and the smokers. The only energy I generated was alienation, even from people who actually agreed with me!

Thankfully, my motive was pure. Before I did too much harm to myself or the cause, I believe I was spiritually led to two men who ran a successful coalition in New York City campaigning for "smoke-free working environments." They told me, "Instead of being against something bad, be for something good." Even though I was really young and inexperienced, this concept immediately resonated with me. We know now that their campaign worked; no-smoking laws were passed, and even though I was still outrageously angry about anything to do with cigarettes, I learned a more productive way to "fight."

It was about five or six years ago while working on legislation that would help couples divorce amicably, I met a group of fathers who were fighting for parenting equality and more time to spend with their children...something I truly believe in. After one meeting, though, I was blown away by their anger; it was like their words were bullets aiming right at me. And their hostility affected more than their verbiage; it changed their demeanor and thinking; more importantly, it was making them ineffective as activists. In a flashback of discomfort, I suddenly saw what I looked and sounded like all those years ago. I accepted that as truth and the second I did, I realized that my pain-twisted perspective was gone! I knew exactly how to help them change their approach: "Being against ex-wives, lawyers, judges, and the establishment will not work," I told them, "but being for love of family and children will!"

My story of hope and change came to mind this week because we as a country are witnessing and experiencing the same emotions of anger, hurt, fear, and helplessness. And the people sitting in it are outwardly expressing these emotions as extreme intolerance towards anyone not thinking and feeling like themselves; some even moving into a state of hatred. They might not realize, though, how it is alienating more people from their "cause" than it is attracting, and they are unwittingly pushing away the very thing (better leadership) they are claiming to want. Anger is good when manipulated properly. It gives us a certain bravado, and it does get us to move. But read anything written by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and you will see, righteous indignation without love and tolerance won't accomplish a better-than-anger-hate-and-intolerance result.

Pople who have successfully manipulated out of painful negative emotions and into first acceptance and then tolerance, love, and forgiveness...They realize the immense gain. They also know they obtained it through the pain! The actual act of manipulating back to love is like exercise for the soul, and that is what gives us more innate power, protection, perception, wisdom, vision, and potential to create positive forward movement. And it is through these moments of authenticity that we gain the clarity to know an ego can never change an ego! Only the soul can do that. We innately know we have to love more and hate less to get more love and less hate. So...

Understanding that we don't have control over others, only ourselves, we can decide to be an example of appropriate human behavior people would want to follow. We can speak, live, and exemplify the conduct we want to see; not what we don't want to see. Best case scenario: We can accept this as the perfect time in history for each one of us to realize our soul's desire to live up to our love potential. We can back down from ego and recognize that the good fight is real, and it is not with each other or our president or any other country or ideology. It is with ourselves. Let's remember that historically speaking, hate never why are we trying to make it a winner now?

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Sick and Tired

What if we stopped calling it Obamacare or Trumpcare and just started calling it Medicaid Plus or something that does not prejudice an entire population of people? And what if those that don't qualify for Medicaid (but still don't make enough to purchase a policy) just pay a little something into Medicaid Plus on a sliding scale? Those who can afford to pay for their own private plans continue to do so, or pay for Medicaid Plus until we figure out a way to deregulate or regulate, fix or undo whatever is not working in the system itself...Will that, at least, stop the fighting, because the stress is killing us...Literally!

You may not want to continue reading if you like playing the blame game. Most of us intelligent and intuitive beings, though, know as a fact that going to single payer or staying as we were will not stop the cost of medical care from escalating. That will continue to rise and threaten to bankrupt states if we don't all step up and take personal responsibility for what we are contributing to the problem and the cost. Whether we are a patient or payer; a doctor or hospital administrator; an employee of the FDA, big Pharma, a school or the government; a parent, lobbyist, farmer, rancher, food manufacturer, or business owner; technology and product developers, even a member of the press, owners of television stations and creators of the programming...Anyone and everyone, including ourselves, who has an influence on our bodies, psyches, sickness, health, and wellness have a participation in what has gotten us into this mess. And every single one of us has the responsibility of helping us get out.

Unhealthy lifestyle choices and the stress that comes with them cost us trillions of dollars in medical costs, lost productivity, increases in crime, traffic accidents, relationship woes, divorce, loss of income, loss of happiness, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, spousal abuse, unemployment, disability, hostility, mental illness, depression, suicide, childhood issues that lead to adult disease, death, and so much more, as if that is not enough.

So as we all keep complaining about what others aren't doing to fix this problem, who among us is actually taking responsibility for their own body as well as their children's? How about diet, exercise, and your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual state of being? Who is taking the time to learn about hidden dangers that surround us? How about natural cures and our body's innate ability to self-heal? The power of the mind to hurt or help us? Energy and negativity that perpetuates itself?

Who is making a commitment to themselves and their family to do EVERY LITTLE THING they can to be the healthiest they can be? And if you are a person in a position to create positive change that will affect many people, are you doing the one thing you can do to help, or are you going with the flow of ignorance? Are you staying in a mindframe of blame, fault, and ridicule for what everyone else is doing or not doing?
I'm standing to unite us on this one issue: The primary reason our healthcare costs are escalating is that we are using the system too much! Prevention is the key to this mess we are in, and yes, fear, greed, laziness, and entitlement contribute; that is an absolute, but we "buy" into it, which is why it perpetuates itself. There are many simple solutions; things we can do right now! Are we smart enough, or should I say, sick and tired enough, to want to finally pursue them?

Saturday, September 23, 2017

One Nation's Heart

Sometime in January/February of 2016, a vision of bloody and deadly rioting in the streets came to me while watching the U.S. election primaries. It was alarming. As a wellness activist and student of energy, I understood all too well that the hatred we were generating as a nation would keep producing more of the same, on native soil and in the rest of the world. It was evident too that existing in our brokenness meant we wouldn’t be powerful enough to help or act as a resource to anyone else beyond our borders. So I did what came naturally to me; I started writing, and to my surprise, the words turned into lyrics and a melody. I felt led to bring what I had to a friend who sings and writes songs. She liked the concept and the lyrics and showed it to a Grammy-nominated songwriter from Nashville, Tennessee. Weeks later, we flew there, and the result is a spirited anthem that prompts its listeners to stand united in love.

Although I always believed songs could generate positive energy, it was obvious that much more would be needed to close the divide between our parties. I thought, ‘This anthem needs an outlet,’ and as the words left my head, another vision came in. This time it was a Civil War soldier, the “Spirit of America," watching over an eagle stuck in a cage because of his broken wing. I was determined to turn the vision into a music video, but despite my constant efforts, it took another full year and some months after that before I could complete the filming and editing. “One Nation’s Heart” was finally completed on August 11, 2017. The very next day, bloody and deadly rioting broke out in the streets of Charlottesville…rage incited over a Civil War statue.

There is no coincidence either with the timing of the One Nation’s Heart release or the Civil War reference. I was granted the inspiration needed to get this far, but I am being led to believe the next step is to combine efforts with other like minds. We know from the study of quantum physics that human thought and emotion transcend the body and directly affect surrounding energy. What we now call “The Field” affords us the knowingness that combined molecules filled with the emotion of love will act no differently than water molecules amassed in a tidal wave. The power and force that love creates will wash away any real or perceived negativity our World is facing, but we need to stay committed to the practice and the belief that our prayer, meditation, and intention to unite will eventually bring about the positive change we want to see.

“One Nation’s Heart” is just a small attempt to leave a lasting impression on those who view it. It asks citizens to stand for unity as it visually shows what ego and hatred were already conquered in America and abroad. Hatred, by the way, that some would say was even more potent than what we are experiencing today. We can rest assured, the "Inspiration" that helped me write and produce this message of unity continues to influence it! Those of us who are in tune with our Earth and Creator know that eventually, all the world’s citizens will join together, but many of us also realize how much responsibility for that rests with the United States. It may take one or two more catastrophic events to get us to this point, but the energy of compassion, brotherhood, love, and grace will find its way back again into the hearts and minds of the majority. In the meantime, we are the shepherds of this energy, and what we generate will transcend! We must unite, stand firm and hold steadfast in our belief that nothing is more potent than unconditional love. No amount of hate can ever win against us unless we let it. #OneNationsHeart #LetsGetThePartiesStarted

Monday, April 18, 2016

At least twice a year my Nana would ask me to move her refrigerator so she could clean behind it. You would think there were dead animals back there, or at least stuff growing out of the coils based on her urgency. "Donna doll, please...would you mind?" Of course I never minded, but I knew before I moved it there would be nothing more than a few dust balls. I loved her dedication to cleanliness, but it made me wonder, 'Am I a slob for not caring what is behind mine?"
Funny thing is, when it comes to finding what's hiding behind my decisions, actions and thoughts, I run with a duster and vacuum hoping to find all the dirt, dust and cobwebs that are hiding under my psyche. Nana on the other hand, never even discussed her past. She never had a need or reason to go "back there." And she didn't seem to suffer because of it. Happy with very little, her entire life consisted of two daughters, 21 grand and great grandchildren, a tiny, one-room apartment filled with animal statues and plants, and Friday afternoon bingo. So simplistic about life that getting cards on the holidays and her birthday made her thankful for the entire year. She was a woman who could spend two hours at a discount store, come home with one statue of a bird, and then spend three days re-arranging her entire apartment just so that one little creature would fit in perfectly. Such joy in so little!
'Was my Nana happy?' I have often asked myself that question. My answer now, after years of learning from her simplistic way of life: The idea of happiness is like a mirage...whatever you want is what you will see, and what you see, you can imagine makes you happy. Is being a little obsessive about knowing what is behind something, albeit an appliance or a mindset, a good thing? Nana would say, "If it makes you happy Donna dear, do it!"