Wow is the only word I can use to describe these past months. So far, I have missed the month of May and half of April, and June will be half way through before I know the outcome of tests I need to take (to determine what the next steps will be for this disease, which truthfully is still undiagnosed). Even though I have not been a part of the World, I still feel connected through TV, although I am not sure how good that is. What a box of negativity!
Okay, so I play solitaire and do crosswords to try and keep my mind sharp (it's very difficult to write when you are very anemic...hindered blood flow to the brain I guess), but tv has been a companion of sorts. Keeping up with the news though is as painful as this condition, but instead of my colon being affected, it is my heart.
So much damage out there, so much hatred, anger, and oppression, no wonder we are so unhealthy. I have much to write about when my blood comes back full strength, but in the meantime, am I allowed to offer some unsolicited advice to all who are out there and going about your lives? PLEASE DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED RIGHT NOW!
If there is anything I can say without a doubt is we need to be thankful and grateful for everything we have and who we are connected with. With all the negativity out there, can you make up with your aunt, sister, friend, or co-worker, (you know, the one you have been arguing with) and remember the boys and girls oversees fighting for our incredibly real and terrifying issues? Can you come home tonight and just kiss your spouse and kids and say thank you for being in my life? Can you tell your boss or your employees, 'let's stick together and get through the tough times.' And finally, can you be thankful for everything that is happening to you even if it hurts because it is probably what you need?
I teach unconditional love. Sounds really corny right? Too bad. We need to hear it. We need to use it, practice it, and learn more about why we aren't manipulating ourselves more to give it. The World is hard to control, but we can't even control our own mouths, hearts, and actions when it comes to giving positive energy to others. Watch one reality tv show and you know we are in bad shape individually, let alone collectively. If we all just start being grateful and clean up a few loose ends in the 'giving love' department, we can change massive negative energy all around us. And guess what? Doing so makes you a happy person, minute to minute, day to day, no matter what is going on in the World.
Gratitude is hard when you are so down, but I have to say, I am actually thankful for my illness. Although it has stricken my body down so severely, I am now feeling an uplift in spirituality I have never felt before. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! for what power I am getting. I can't wait till my body can keep up with it and I can bring it out in writings and teachings. In the meantime, since I can't get out there yet, I need help. Go out and give a little gratitude today. If you feel up to it, throw out some goodness. And if you are really motivated, change a negative in your life using love energy. And if you do, write me about it. I am desperate to hear I still have the ability to inspire someone, even if I am stuck in bed. D.