No matter what I say, I can't get some people to listen...

"If I start to think like Gandhi, love like Mother Teresa and act like Martin Luther King, Jr, then will you listen to me?"

This is the question I want to ask every time I encounter someone in a position of power who does not want to heed my warnings about the healthcare issues our country faces today. I keep thinking it must be me, my approach, my verbiage or possibly my attitude. Unfortunately, it is not just strangers who don't want to hear it or take the steps necessary to affect change. Sometimes the worst offenders are my family and friends.

A recent plea to a close friend (who had told me he didn't feel well) was no different. He did not understand the motive behind my desire to help him. "I am not trying to make your life harder," I pleaded, "or tell you that you are a bad person for not exercising and eating right. I am trying to help you get rid of all that is keeping you from being happy and healthy!"

When I coach strangers or acquaintances, I have a motto that I will only work as hard as they do to help themselves. I never go where I am not invited, and I don't get emotionally involved in their lives, only in their decision to reach their goals. I love helping others learn what I know, and when there is vast improvement due to our mutual investment, I am more than thrilled that I had the privilege to participate in their wellness journey. Something changes, however, when we love or are related to who we are trying to help. There is a bigger investment of course. Our happiness and sometimes our own well being is very much contingent on our loved ones staying healthy, and more importantly, alive.

The reason I asked my dear friend to "please go to the doctor for blood work and start working out with me", was because he was complaining of tiredness, weight gain and an inability to feel joy. Nonetheless, he was furious at my persistence and demanded I drop the subject. But watching his body and mind become unhealthier by the minute was now stressing me out. When logic and pleading got me no where, I wondered how I was finally going to convince him before disaster occurred.

It boggles my mind that we as humans have such incredible survival instincts, but when it comes to our bodies and what we are doing to ourselves, we ignore, fight and resist the signs and symptoms that warn us of physical, emotional and mental dangers. Much of America's medical woes are connected to this disconnected way of thinking.

Not about to give up on my friend, I finally pulled the guilt card I was holding. Just one year prior, I took him from start to finish through an agonizing back surgery. I didn't want to throw it in his face, but I was desperate. Teary eyed and with one hand on my hip (the other was pointing and waving), I said, "And guess what! If you get sick or have another surgery, who do you think is going to be there with you every step of the way?" He hesitated for a second, looked me straight in the eye and calmly stated, "Who else...You."

Days later, he called me, promising to start exercising if I promised never to say the word colonoscopy again. “Not on your life...literally!” But he is still starting a workout regimen next week. Few of us can make someone do what they don’t want to do, but we should not give up trying. Perhaps, though it would be good to re-evaluate our approach. Asking ourselves, "What does our loved one need to hear?" or "How does he/she need to hear it?"

Truth is, we should all feel obligated to take care of ourselves for our own sake and that of our family. There is also the much bigger picture to consider: We are all connected; we are all affecting one another as a society in every way, including but not limited to each other's money, health, stress and pursuit of happiness. We can't step out of our house in the morning and think that what we do and say on a daily basis does not ripple an effect on dozens, hundreds, if not thousands of other people.

My message is clear and evidence based: There is no healthcare crisis in America. There is only a wellness crisis, and the solution to reversing it is simple: We need to stop relying on a “system" or government to get ourselves and our families healthy and instead start doing what it takes to actually be healthy. It is our body. It is our challenge. It is our responsibility!

In the end, I can acknowledge that I am not as centered or gifted as my three guides, but I can still learn from their wisdom:

Dr. King, cautioned, "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter," so I will not stop talking.
Mother Teresa taught, "We cannot do great things on this Earth, only small things with great love," so I will not stop caring.
Gandhi challenged, "Be the change that you wish to see in the world,” so I will not stop trying to be the change the country needs.