Push-Pull, Understanding the Energy Dance

Many of us don't understand, or I should say, are not in tune with what unseen factors are involved in every relationship we engage in. Whether it is parent/child, client/vendor, friends or lovers, there is a dance that takes place involving the energy we give off and the one that is coming at us. How we handle that energy can make a huge difference in the outcome of each and every encounter.
As a sales person, I always seemed to understand the needs of my clients. My motto was, "I want to make you happy to buy from me." Part of this creed came from my desire to save time. I really didn’t want to go after clients who didn’t need or want my services. The other was to recognize that I couldn’t accomplish my own goals, without first accomplishing theirs. Creating a symbiotic outcome should be every business person’s motive. With that come the close and the monetary reward that follows. I was very successful as a sales person, but for many years, I didn’t use the same principals in many of my other relationships. It took me some time to realize it, but I had a tendency to “push” my energy on those I wanted to help, and unfortunately, this didn’t always get me the result I wanted.
In order to create change, I started to look at what I handled well and tried to mimic it. I was always a good dancer. Not only could I lead (I always played the part of the guy in my all girls high school gym class), but I was able to pick up on the nuances of any dance when in the company of a great dancer. A strong lead senses his partner and then gently guides. There is no pushing involved, no ulterior motive other than a mutual coexistence on the dance floor. He should quickly ascertain his partner’s skill level and then appropriate his moves accordingly, not wanting her to be uncomfortable. When she is totally secure in the knowledge that she is safe in his arms, her moves will be relaxed, fluid and completely in tune with his. What I am describing here is the ultimate dance…when two people are sharing space and completely engaged energetically.
It seemed logical to me that all relationships were exhibiting some sort of dance; a give and take, a slight push or pull, a leader and a follower. There is always an engaged energy when people interact and there is no rhyme or reason to which place someone holds at any given time. The lead can be male or female, younger or older, more educated or not. When appropriate, you can decide to lead a person who desires guidance, or be the one that succumbs to the other’s strengths. As with any great dance duo, the main ingredients you need to posses in order to have a successful partnership is intention and willingness to be in tune with the others needs rather than one’s own. It is done correctly when each partner understands their position and direction, constantly adjusting their own motives to be aligned with the other’s requirements. It is done beautifully when both listen to the music they hear and move to the beat that their heart feels. Dance is a part of life, but more importantly, life is the dance. Enjoy!