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It's a cold sunny day in January as I sit in front of my computer and figure out a way to communicate with my target audience. Perhaps the easiest way is to just invite you to come and share with me and other readers your wellness issues and questions. Many of us are new to the blog venue, so we are all a little sketchy about how to go about initiating a conversation.
To put you at ease, all blog messages are filtered through my email and will be posted when appropriate, so your question or comment will not automatically appear unless it is viewed by me first. Hopefully that will make a first timer feel more comfortable. In any case, you can always email me at donna@donnamartini.com and include your permission to post the comment if you so desire.
When wishing to converse, just click on "comments" and follow the directions. Thanks for visiting and have a great New Day! D.
16 comments:
The site looks great. It is inspiring for me as I am at the very start of my journey towards "wellness".
As I am starting out, I sometimes feel like "wellness" might be more like "workload". Trying to eat what is right while on the go, attempting to somehow squeeze in a little exercise at the end of a long day. Unhealthy was getting mighty comfortable in some ways... donuts are great stress relievers ya know (that instant gratification thing I guess).
All that being said, donuts, company sponsored lunch binges, and cushy office chairs are not conducive to an active, healthy and long life. So, for the past few weeks, as hard as it has been at times, I have really been trying to implement a better lifestyle. Purer foods, more water, vitamins, crunches, a new bicycle (I love a good reason to buy something), and so on.
It was interesting, the first day was amazing, I was high on life, felt like a million bucks, and had a whole new look on life. I thought I had it all figured out, a lot of emotion for only one day, I know, but I was hopeful and eager. Now, what no one warned me about, is that donuts, when consumed in high doses for a sustained period of time, can have effects on a human very similar to CRACK (yes, the drug). As wonderful as the first day was, the second day was proportionately as horrible. I couldn't figure it out at the time, but apparently I was experiencing withdrawl symptoms... Someone took away my crack!! All that sweet chocolatey icing, covering up that wonderfully fried shell of dough which housed the most splendid vanilla creme... you get the picture.
I was cranky, a little depressed, and a lot confused. I felt ready to take on the world the day before, and now... I lost my mojo. Figuring that somehow "wellness" couldn't be all that bad, and this was probably just some reaction to treating my body so poorly for so long, I made a promise to stick with my new program.
I must say, the next couple of weeks or so were not the easiest. I was all over the place, but I did notice a slow progression. Performing "exercise" the first week was more like watching tv from the floor, doing occasional sit-ups with Paula, Randy, and Simon passing comments in the background. I was doing more exercise than if I was plopped on the couch, but I was in no way gaining back my Marky Mark midsection of years before. But, through the next few weeks, I noticed that I could do a little more each night. I even took my bicycle out. Granted, the first bike ride lasted about 4 minutes, but when I tell you that I truly believe that I was transported to the Arctic Circle that night and rode in temperatures only Penguins could survive in, I am NOT lying.
So hear I am, in my fourth week. I know it is not a long time, and I know I am not implementing all of the proper wellness tools. But, the more I stick with this whole thing, the easier it seems to get and the more my body craves it. I am feeling sharper, more energetic, and healthier each day.
I will continue on this journey and keep this blog posted.
Sincerly,
Bicycling ex-donut junkey man.
Dear Anonymous, so happy to hear about your experience and may I add that you wrote about it beautifully.
Yes, expect to have many withdrawal symptoms. Sugar is a chemical and causes addiction along with a host of other things. I am very glad you chose the healthy route. Can I ask you to share your story so that I can post it on the actual site? What I think everyone would want to know is, How did you finally make the decision? What was the final straw that allowed you to really push through the addictions?
Thanks for sharing and please keep in touch! D.
I think the main reason that I am trying to be healthier now, and forgive me for being blunt, is that I was tired of feeling like CRAP. I know that is not expressed very eloquently, but it is actually quite a descriptive word, and I think a lot of people would relate.
So many of us travel a path in life and endure daily activities (the grind) that leave us feeling weak, tired, depressed, anxious... The list goes on, and that is not to say that it is always that bad, but we all have our days. I fall victim to it, and I see people that I am surrounded by always dragging their feet and complaining. It is a natural progression, you get wrapped up in all of the responsibilities of your work and home that you strive to "get it all done", and inevitably you begin to neglect yourself. Maybe you used to enjoy jogging, or skiing, or playing frisbee at the park, whatever it was, it was a way of exercising and feeling good. Maybe you used to eat healthier, but life on the run has you grabbing a #2 with a milk shake for lunch and chinese take-out at night because the thought of cooking so late is just plain tiring.
It is a rut, you tell yourself that "tomorrow, I will jog" or "tomorrow we can cook a nice healthy dinner". Tomorrow comes and you are more busy than yesterday, so inevitably you feel overwhelmed. The stress only makes you crave the food more and the last thing you feel like doing is denying yourself what might make you feel better, so you give it the old "ahhh, what"s another day, tomorrow will be different, I will take care of myself tomorrow, let me just get through today".
Well, we all know how this goes, because we have all been there, and if you have never been there then I admire you and despise you all at the same time, your life is too easy, go find some stress or something. Just kidding, but seriously, it does not end, today turns into tomorrow and tomorrow was just as bad as yesterday. The rut you began descending into has now become the Grand Canyon and impending doom has set in. This is a bit extreme, I know, but it happens. You still have your good days and bad days, but regardless, you never feel on top of your game anymore.
Sorry, went off on a little tangent there, but not without reason, your question was, what made me decide to pursue health. I know it sounds cliche, but I guess I had to follow the old addage of "Why put off till tomorrow, what you can do today". I had to make a decision, start the grueling ascend out of the Grand Canyon, or continue to descend and wind up in China after I bored clean through the earth. That may be taking the analogie too far, but you get the idea.
So, simply put, I have chosen to start my life today because tomorrow is not getting any better unless I make it better today.
Dear Annonymous, I loved your last line, "So, simply put, I have chosen to start my life today because tomorrow is not getting any better unless I make it better today."
I would love to use that comment but don't want to put "annonymous" next to the author! If you have any desire to share this, let me know. I will however tell you that I have an entire chapter of my book on understanding that your tomorrow is based on your today. So all the more reason why I want to use your eloquently stated words.
As far as things seeming easier for others, trust me, everyone has serious issues to contend with. No matter what they are, however, we all have the ability to change how we feel about them. We all have the wherewithal to change what we don't like about ourselves, no matter how negative things seem. No one is more "addicted" than another. No one is more "compulsed" or "stressed" than another. But instead, there are people who are more convinced they can empower themselves. Some people have more conviction at any given time. It is not the power of the negative, but instead the lack of the positive that is the key to changing the state we are in. I will be posting something on this concept shortly!
It is our decision, always, to change our mind about how we feel, or what we are thinking, or most importantly, the direction we are taking. The most beautiful aspect of life is that we have the ability to manipulate ourselves at any given moment and it only takes a moment to change your life!
You said it best, "tomorrow is not getting any better unless I make it better today." This is your new day! And every day is going to be another opportunity to make an even better new day. It doesn't stop getting better.
Thanks so much for your comments and for sharing. I am sure you are helping others with your new healthy attitude. Please continue to share your goodness! D.
LOL... you do not have to put annonymous next to my comment... it is me "Bicycling Ex-donut junkey man"
I am too, trying to go the wellness route but at this time it is somewhat difficult.
I recently went through a very hurtful break up with a man I was living with for almost three years. I use every waking moment thinking of him and wondering how I can live without him. So for the first few weeks I ate almost nothing and now eat almost everything. Since I mostly work from my office at home, I take advantage of my nearby gym but just can't get into the healthy eating habit. I am considered attractive, thin, intelligent but as of late, not that much fun to be with. As Valentine's Day approaches the tighter the knot feels in my stomach. This, afterall, will be the first Valentine's Day without him. I haven't gained weight thanks to my personal trainer but the issue of unhealthy foods still follow me daily.
I now think I am ready to see a therapist. I am hoping to deal with my personal issues which may allow me to make healthy food choices. Believe me, I drink probably as much water as a camel does but that doesn't fill any voids that I still have.
Hopefully, someday, I can see through the mist and with time, break out of this sugar frenzy I am in now.
I hope I have as much courage as bicycling ex-donut junkey man has and I can make it to a sugar free world.
Please keep this anonymous...
To our annonymous lady of Feb 8,
So sorry for what you are going through, but can I say, I am very familiar with your pain! I think it is a great idea to see a therapist, and may I add, there are many more things you can do to get over a break up.
Many people don't realize that we form physical bonds with people along with emotional. Please go easy on yourself as far as diet issues. You are chemically getting over this guy as well as mentally and emotionally. There will be an article coming up on this site that will explain more, but in the meantime, here are some suggestions you may want to try.
Mentally: For the tape recorder that may be going on in your head: Get a rubberband that fits around your wrist. Not too tight or too loose, it has to fit just right. Every time you think of him and it brings you sadness, anger, or whatever unpleasant emotion, snap on the rubber band, or what I call, your SOOI (snap out of it) Bracelet. I got this idea one day while thinking of a way to physically try and get over an issue, person or negative thought process. I did some research, and low and behold, there are therapist who recommend this as a therapy. The minute you snap the rubber band, it breaks the cycle of negative thinking. Then you back it up with a positive thought or mantra and you retrain your brain pattern.
So in other words, you get a sorrowful feeling about him, snap your wrist immediately and repeat, "I no longer want what is not for my highest good." You can pick whatever mantra works best for you, but make sure it is positive and reflects a new way of thinking.
Physically: As far as the food, when my sugar cravings go crazy, I allow myself to indulge, but not like you think. Instead of candy or something that isn't good for me, I reach for the natural stuff that comes full of sweetness. As I write this, I am munching on partially frozen mango. Sometimes I make homemade applesauce or eat ezekial bread (the cinnamon raisin one) with apple butter. There are so many healthy alternatives and knowing you can eat it till you puke without doing too much harm, kind of makes you feel less addicted and more in control. My saying is this, "Never deprieve yourself of anything. Instead, change your mind about what you want."
If you decide that looking and feeling your best right now is the best opportunity you have to getting over this relationship, then you will start making better decisions about what you are eating. I promise!
Another physical way to help rid yourself of negative emotions is to rid yourself of what is around you that is a constant reminder. Do some Feng Shui and box up anything (or better yet, give it away!) everything that reminds you of him.
Emotionally: If you have to still see him, that is okay. Be strong and know that this break up is somehow going to pay off in a more meaningful relationship with someone else in the future. You have just been given the chance to learn some lessons.
Take responsibility for whatever you brought into your life and then you will be sure to seek out what you can change in the future. This is sometimes hard when we feel slighted. But it is not about blame. It is instead of choices. You chose him and then it didn't work out. Next time, can you learn more about how and why you chose someone who did not meet your needs? That is how we move on to the next level of growth. Emotionally, when you feel the pangs of your heart, you need to remember that he was not fulfilling your needs. Even if you thought he was while you were together, obviously now, he isn't. Instead of feeling lonely, understand that without him in the picture, you can find someone who is right for you and who wants to stay long term.
There are many more ways and I will help further if you need me. Please feel free to blog or email me direct. In the meantime, please visit the positive manipulation site for more direction on how to manipulate yourself out of this current state. Peace to you! D.
p.s. please come up with a nickname so I know who you are. There is a nickname box on the blog poster. I think "Beautiful Lady" will work nicely!
let me be one to endorse your continued efforts to better yourself. as an individual with a tremendous amount of both family and professional stress and responsiblity, it has been nearly two years since i made the decision to change myself. I have had tremendous success and have never felt (or looked) better. I cannot say have have made and implemented all the right decisions and choices, but the issues are clear and one by one I have begun to address them. Donna has been my guide and i can only say this: if you want something to believe in, it is right here waiting for you. you only need to make the choice. Tomorrow will be better as each day that follows as well. i can tell you from the experience.
Okay, I believe this post is from Bicycling ex donut junkie, but I'm not sure! Thanks for your advice to Beautiful Lady! And you are right on when you say it is a choice to be healthy. Make that decision and it takes precedence over all there is to being human. With powerful intent, we really can conquer all.
By the way, can everyone try and click off the nickname box and put your pseudo in there. If everyone is anonymous, we will become very confused. Just to let you know, I can't see the email addresses so it is truly anonymous even with a nickname. D.
the post is from mike g
You know Mike, I figured that out after the blog went through. Now we all know you so don't be shy! We need to hear more about "how" you did it and maybe even the "why". Please come on and post when you can. Thanks! D.
Well I made it. Valentine's Day is gone and I must say it wasn't easy but I got through the entire day without being hysterical.
It just might be that I have found a terrific therapist and I think we really connect. She has given me many ideas and thoughts of how to get through the next few months without all the drama.
The idea of getting rid of some of the things that remind me of him is great except for the house that we both shared and now I live in alone. He was very generous and last year bought me a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings that I simply adore and not to sound like a spoiled child, must wear most of the time. My birthday gift was also outrageous, the Audi TT sports car that I always wanted but was to cheap to buy myself. The way he presented these gifts were as special as the gifts themselves. I love being in love, especially with him. People can dispute the feeling but there is none like it. I loved sharing business problems as well as personal problems with him. We always were able to conquer all issues and problems together. I hate being alone in the house especially in the evening and
and how horrible it still is to wake up alone.
Yes, I am getting use to it but I don't like it. My friend constantly tells me that you must make your own happiness and he didn't do it all but just between you and me, he did.
Believe it or not, my eating habits have gotten better but I still have a little further to go. I am a diabetic so my menu is a little more complex.
I appreciate the advice from Mike. Just knowing that someone else can see the light at the end of the tunnel is very comforting.
I don't have to be anonymous anymore just Morgan.
Thanks!
Hi Morgan, I am so glad to hear you are doing better. And yes, you are right about keeping things you feel strongly about. The idea of Feng Shui is to get rid of what makes you feel negative, not positive. I once had a boyfriend that bought us matching hunting jackets that cost about $35 each. A couple of months later, he bought me a very expensive fur jacket for my birthday, but we broke up the next week. I gave him back the fur because I knew he didn't want to give it to me. The hunting jacket is still in my closet and I love it because of the spirit in which it was given. It was probably the best memory of the relationship that I have.
Can I say that your relationship sounded wonderful? Irrespective of the expensive gifts (we all know money can't buy love), it is rare to find someone that you can share so much with. I don't know your circumstances and how it ended, but I hope you can reflect on all of what he offered, emotionally and spiritually, so you can bring it in again in the next relationship. If nothing else, these challenges offer us an opportunity to repair and prepare, meaning, we repair what may be broken inside of ourselves and then prepare for the next life experience. I hope you take all you can from the time you had with him and use it to create your best life. God Bless! D.
I am not sure that anyone followed my break up or really cares but I just could not allow myself not to write my updated story.
Some time had passed and finally I thought I was able to begin again but low and behold, I had a surprise awakening. My boyfriend who had left after living together for a few years had returned with head in hand and asked for my forgiveness. Of course, I was so very happy to see and talk with him but I didn't let my guard down at that particular moment. We talked for some time eventually lasting for several weeks. He expressed to me that he had made a terrible mistake. The mistake he said, was that he thought he could not settle down and that he had met another woman that he wanted to pursue. After all our time together, thinking we were so happy, I couldn't fathom how that could happen. We shared so much together but as the saying goes, there was that greener grass or so he thought. After a short time seeing this woman, her true colors emerged showing her demanding/jealous side. He said she argued and yelled trying to persuade him to see things her way. (she wanted to move in with him) While experiencing that situation, he realized just what he had lost. No, I didn't take him back that soon, first we went to counseling and worked through some issues we had. It took a short time to heal what had been shattered but I always knew that I loved him and I am so happy to say that we were married and couldn't be happier.
We were married by the Mayor of our town. After the ceremony with a few family members and friends, he surprised me with a honeymoon in Italy. I had only one day to pack/purchase new clothes and then we were off. Sole Mate, yes, I have one, always knew it, it just took him a little longer to realize it too. One lesson learned, never, I mean never, take for granted the relationship you have. It is so easy to get lost in the daily grind but those I Love You's are so important. Best of all I know wake up with him in the same house we once shared but it seems so much brighter, happier, loving then I can remember. I know that I said that I loved being in love but now I really know and appreciate that feeling. I know there are those skeptics that say, once a cheater etc., they couldn't be more wrong. Sometime it takes a break up to set your life straight. Love alters and defines and for others becomes love lost. My health and diet are both on track. I can't say that love was the healer or can I? The time we were apart I constantly saw that world of couples, always dining out, at the theater or just walking on the streets. Unfortunately that is the norm. Many people throw themselves into their work, I did, mainly to use up as many hours as I could. It did get easier to get through the days but none the happier. So for me, the happy ending also includes a healthier life. My Mr. Right is right here now and I pray and believe now forever. I hope this may reach the person that has given up on love. It really does exist when you find the right person.
Morgan
Morgan, I am so very happy for you. I agree that sometimes it takes an awareness that can only be brought about by trauma. As the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder, but we also know that presence makes it stronger. Now that you two will never take each other for granted again, you will be able to build a better life with much more meaning.
I know this sounds cliche, but I believed he was coming back to you. It sounded like your relationship was wonderful and much too special to give up. I am glad he had an awakening and that you forgave him. Please keep us posted and if you would like to read something special about love, check out www.positivemanipulation.com and read "Perfect Love". I hope you see yourself in this writing. Love to both of you. D.
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