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So often I hear stories of imbalanced relationships, betrayal, hurt, pain, and downright wrongdoing. I know, for me, I've given many people the benefit of the doubt even when it was clear they were not (sometimes could not) offer reciprocal love, honor, and/or friendship. Why do we do that? Here is my take: We are good people (meaning, we are trying our best) and want to believe in the goodness of others. We want to assume others are going to act like us, so we want to trust and believe things will get better. The truth is, many of us are in touch with our own soul and the souls of others, and when we see, hear, and feel that goodness in them, we can't always see and hear their ego. We feel it, for sure! But we ignore that gut feeling and keep the relationship going while we hope for the best.
What can we do about that? We can always assess the truth about a person and relationship when we finally decide to honor our own soul's voice, our own life, and our own personal agenda. And that doesn't mean we always have to cut people off completely. Once we honor ourselves, our energy changes. When we rise in self-love, esteem, and worthiness, it is tougher to be taken advantage of! People will respond to our energy surge in amazing ways, too. Some will treat us better; others will walk away realizing they can't keep the relationship where they want and need it to be.
Should we be angry at others for what they are or aren't doing for us? Why bother! It just perpetuates negativity, and after all, most people can't even handle their own needs, let alone ours. It may even create more imbalance to expect people to always do what we need and want them to do, especially if deep down, we know they aren't capable of it. Instead, we should try to get to a state of gratitude when we find out that someone cannot give back to us what we are capable of giving to them. It gives us the opportunity to move forward more gracefully, and finally do what we need to do for ourselves.
One other truly important aspect of this process: Sometimes, we are asking for it! If we pray, meditate, and/or set intentions each day to be the best we can be and live the best life we can, we will attract situations that help us move towards that goal! At first, we are shown in innocuous ways what to heal and grow out of, but when awareness is not forthcoming, we will get tougher and tougher scenarios to deal with. Then one day, we just wake up and, like getting hit with a hammer to the head, we realize we are the common denominator in all our life episodes. "Oh...." we will say to ourselves, "It's not 'woe is me.' It's, 'WHOA! It's me!'" And that is the day the real transformation begins.
