When to recognize Self-Betrayal

Bottom line, some people aren't good for our self-esteem; we just don't feel good about ourselves when we are around them. Here is what I have found in dealing with these scenarios: Whenever we aren't feeling honored by someone, we probably aren't honoring ourselves.

So often I hear stories of imbalanced relationships, betrayal, hurt, pain, and downright wrongdoing. I know, for me, I've given many people the benefit of the doubt even when it was clear they were not (sometimes could not) offer reciprocal love, honor, and/or friendship. Why do we do that? Here is my take: We are good people (meaning, we are trying our best) and want to believe in the goodness of others. We want to assume others are going to act like us, so we want to trust and believe things will get better. The truth is, many of us are in touch with our own soul and the souls of others, and when we see, hear, and feel that goodness in them, we can't always see and hear their ego. We feel it, for sure! But we ignore that gut feeling and keep the relationship going while we hope for the best.

What can we do about that? We can always assess the truth about a person and relationship when we finally decide to honor our own soul's voice, our own life, and our own personal agenda. And that doesn't mean we always have to cut people off completely. Once we honor ourselves, our energy changes. When we rise in self-love, esteem, and worthiness, it is tougher to be taken advantage of! People will respond to our energy surge in amazing ways, too. Some will treat us better; others will walk away realizing they can't keep the relationship where they want and need it to be.

Should we be angry at others for what they are or aren't doing for us? Why bother! It just perpetuates negativity, and after all, most people can't even handle their own needs, let alone ours. It may even create more imbalance to expect people to always do what we need and want them to do, especially if deep down, we know they aren't capable of it. Instead, we should try to get to a state of gratitude when we find out that someone cannot give back to us what we are capable of giving to them. It gives us the opportunity to move forward more gracefully, and finally do what we need to do for ourselves.

One other truly important aspect of this process: Sometimes, we are asking for it! If we pray, meditate, and/or set intentions each day to be the best we can be and live the best life we can, we will attract situations that help us move towards that goal! At first, we are shown in innocuous ways what to heal and grow out of, but when awareness is not forthcoming, we will get tougher and tougher scenarios to deal with. Then one day, we just wake up and, like getting hit with a hammer to the head, we realize we are the common denominator in all our life episodes. "Oh...." we will say to ourselves, "It's not 'woe is me.' It's, 'WHOA! It's me!'" And that is the day the real transformation begins.

From Cursing to Curing...

Recently I was sent a video about fighting "stupid cancer." I don't blame anyone for this reaction. My father died of lung cancer 26 years ago at the age of 52 so I understand the anger and the hatred people have towards this disease. I want to ask, though, should we be fighting and hating something about our own bodies? Should we be hating cancer or what causes cancer? Actually, should we be fighting and hating anything at all?

The truth is, when I needed to fight for my life from Crohn's Disease, I wasn't winning. The disease was, and during the battle, it took most of my large intestines as its trophy. And apparently, that wasn't enough because six years later, it came back with a vengeance threatening either lethal cancer or a surgery to remove the rest of my tail end, which meant that I would spend the rest of my life with a poop pouch attached to my belly. Unfortunately, I knew what that felt like having spent four months with one during the first attack. Been there; done that; was determined to not do it again.

So I did what I do best...researched. I scanned the internet for information, read every book and watched hundreds of hours of video about self-healing. I completely changed my diet (organic plant-based, ayurvedic; the works). I meditated, prayed, chanted, journaled, grounded myself with the Earth for hours a day, and that's not all; I also changed my mind about everything! When I felt myself resisting what my own intuition was telling me about my past, my emotions, and my participation in the condition my body was in, I sought out intuitive healers to help in the discovery process. And here is what I came to realize: If I wanted to stop the disease, I had to love and embrace it. After all, it was a part of me that was crying for attention. Hating it would defeat the purpose of healing it! I had to hold that part of myself dear and tell it everything was going to be alright because I was finally listening.

Somehow years ago, the perfect storm formed in me, and I had no idea up until that point that I took part in the formation. I certainly didn't do it on purpose, but it was mine to address and unravel from. The good news about that: If I was the one that inadvertently allowed it to be created, I was the one who could now purposefully help it go away!

After four months of intensive self-help, my doctor probed me with a camera and found me free of inflammation from Crohn's. Much to her dismay too, because she was hell-bent on injecting me with powerful, harmful, and expensive drugs for the rest of my life. The way she was acting about my remission, you'd think I took her cookie away from her during lunch hour. I remained undaunted. I knew what I did; how I did it, and I also knew I would be teaching others how to do the same. The most important aspect of all of it, though, was the understanding of how truly beautiful and magnificently wise we were created. I learned that when illness takes hold, we have to remember that the disease is only a tiny part of us, not the whole. No matter what doctors say our diagnosis is, they don't know and could never know what our prognosis is. We get to decide that because we are self-healing machines that continuously strive for balance and health. When we are taught how to use our minds and heartfelt emotions to address an imbalance, the body responds willingly. On a cellular and sometimes genetic level, it will regenerate, rejuvenate, and recreate itself in order to be well again.

Do drugs, chemo and medical treatments work? A percentage of the time, but we all know the potential for detrimental after effects. Whether we decide to use them or not (and that is a truly personal decision), we still have to address the root causes or the disease can return. We still have to assume responsibility for our bodies and the condition they are in (without blame) because when we accept the illness as a potential imbalance in our physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual state of being, we immediately take control of our healing journey.

The world of medicine is slow to catch up with the human mind, body, and soul's innate wisdom, but we don't have to stay stuck in that world. When we make the decision to be the best we can be, we have so much more than medicine at our disposal. We have All There Is out there to tap into.

Is America Ready to Face the Real Smoking Gun?

Watching Keanu Reeves last week in the motion picture, "John Wick,” reminded me of my younger years watching Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson, and Chuck Norris movies. I can still remember the vigilante-like adrenaline I felt surging through me as I walked out of the theatre...It was so palpable it made me want to kick something in the parking lot. In a few hours the feeling would wear off but I wonder now, if I wasn't a balanced young woman in her right mind, would I have been capable of violence? Picking a fight? Perhaps bullying? The answer, I believe, is a resounding, "Yes!" After years of research and experience, I've discovered that any combination of past trauma, emotional and mental stress, hormonal and/or biochemical imbalance, and thoughts of helplessness (that turn into anger) is what it takes to create "the perfect storm" in any human being. Whether someone is led to hurt themselves or another, it still originates from what is transpiring in the delicate relationship between the mind and the body.

This recent school shooting energized us, but the truth is, we have a lot more than that to be riled up about. The FBI claims that in 2016, there were an estimated 1,248,185 violent crimes. Other agencies report that in a year, over 321,000 tweens, teens, and adults are the victims of rape and sexual assault, and approximately 1,000 American women (and more worldwide) are murdered by a current or ex-male partner. Another sobering stat: One in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused before they turn 18 years old with 34% of their assailants being family members. And the list of violent crimes doesn’t stop there. Without taking away the attention or time we are bringing to guns (and the need to regulate ownership), I'm going to suggest we take the onus off of them as it pertains to motive and cause. There is a much bigger issue we all need to address and that is mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual imbalance.

What does it take to raise a healthy, loving, law-abiding citizen? That's actually an easy question to answer, so we really should be asking, "What does it take to raise an abuser? A killer? An assailant?" We know this answer too, but are we willing to do something about it? Will money and greed keep driving our need to push violence as amusement? Will we continue to allow unfair divorce proceedings to leave kids without one of their parents, most especially their dads? Worse yet, will the over 35% of us going through divorce continue to fight and hate our way through it? Are we going to continue to ignore the potential negative manipulation that food, sugar, pesticides, chemicals, immunizations, and legalized drugs has on our children’s minds and bodies? Are we finally going to analyze how the school environment, curriculum, and stress we put them under is affecting their psyche and physical state of being? Will we keep putting our heads in the sand about what seeing us divided as a nation is doing to instigate their fear about their future? And generational poverty...Will anyone ever be willing to speak frankly without the political left or right slant about one of our saddest stats here in America?

We can initiate new gun laws but that will not rid us of the reasons why someone wants to kill or hurt people. In fact, my fear is that we pass laws, say our hoorays for a job well done, and then never fervently address the real instigators of violent behavior because too many people would have to take too much responsibility for what we aren't doing to help eradicate them. There are many intelligent, wellness-minded people, though, that will say there are easy strategies, and simple--sometimes free, sometimes low-cost--habits and programs we can adopt for our children (from birth on) in our homes, neighborhoods, schools, and states that will prevent crime, addiction, bullying, sickness, disease, mental disorders, drug and alcohol use, and more. They include understanding how we communicate through energy and how love and personal responsibility can promote peace and happiness. These people would suggest changing our curriculum to include more physical and mental exercises that will keep kids balanced and more motivated to live clean and healthy lives. Some new habits would involve daily meditation, self-administered trauma and anti-anxiety therapy, and quite a few other techniques they can use their entire lives to help them deal with the stress that just living life creates. Eventually, the food and drinks we allow them to eat and bring to school would need to be addressed, because it is undeniable: The chemistry put into the body changes the chemistry of the body.

All of this would take our legislators, teachers, police, school administrators, parents, doctors, therapists, and so many more in a position of power to be open-minded, listening, and then willing to move forward together to create positive change. And we know that some are, but we need more. Perhaps so many people, most especially those that are in a position to make decisions, are so stuck doing what they believe is right without taking into account that it is not working! The research is in though. We know more about our intrinsic gifts and how to use them, yet we are still dragging our feet when it comes to changing what we can change and that is irrespective of what government administration--democratic or republican--is in power. I want to know why. I want to ask the powers that be, “When will our kids learn about quantum science? Are they being taught that they are energetic, self-healing beings with hearts and minds so powerful there is nothing that can compare to them in the entire universe?” I want decision makers to give me plausible reasons why billions are being spent dealing with our issues after they cause devastation while so little is being spent on preventing them. Lastly, and most importantly, "Why is everyone so afraid of spirituality? What do we think is going to happen if we start teaching our kids about love?”

We know we are more than our bodies; science has proven that. It isn't that hard to be mindful and loving, and it's incredibly easy to teach it to our children. Why, then, are we making it so damn hard?