What do we want to win, love or hate?

Just moments before my father died of lung cancer I made him a promise...that I would fight for new laws and never stop talking about the dangers of cigarettes. That was in 1991, and I kept that promise...sort of. I fought hard but didn't get very far. The reason: I was in a negative state of being. The pain and helplessness I felt for the loss of my dad rolled itself into extreme anger towards the government, the cigarette companies, and the smokers. The only energy I generated was alienation, even from people who actually agreed with me!

Thankfully, my motive was pure. Before I did too much harm to myself or the cause, I believe I was spiritually led to two men who ran a successful coalition in New York City campaigning for "smoke-free working environments." They told me, "Instead of being against something bad, be for something good." Even though I was really young and inexperienced, this concept immediately resonated with me. We know now that their campaign worked; no-smoking laws were passed, and even though I was still outrageously angry about anything to do with cigarettes, I learned a more productive way to "fight."

It was about five or six years ago while working on legislation that would help couples divorce amicably, I met a group of fathers who were fighting for parenting equality and more time to spend with their children...something I truly believe in. After one meeting, though, I was blown away by their anger; it was like their words were bullets aiming right at me. And their hostility affected more than their verbiage; it changed their demeanor and thinking; more importantly, it was making them ineffective as activists. In a flashback of discomfort, I suddenly saw what I looked and sounded like all those years ago. I accepted that as truth and the second I did, I realized that my pain-twisted perspective was gone! I knew exactly how to help them change their approach: "Being against ex-wives, lawyers, judges, and the establishment will not work," I told them, "but being for love of family and children will!"

My story of hope and change came to mind this week because we as a country are witnessing and experiencing the same emotions of anger, hurt, fear, and helplessness. And the people sitting in it are outwardly expressing these emotions as extreme intolerance towards anyone not thinking and feeling like themselves; some even moving into a state of hatred. They might not realize, though, how it is alienating more people from their "cause" than it is attracting, and they are unwittingly pushing away the very thing (better leadership) they are claiming to want. Anger is good when manipulated properly. It gives us a certain bravado, and it does get us to move. But read anything written by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and you will see, righteous indignation without love and tolerance won't accomplish a better-than-anger-hate-and-intolerance result.

Pople who have successfully manipulated out of painful negative emotions and into first acceptance and then tolerance, love, and forgiveness...They realize the immense gain. They also know they obtained it through the pain! The actual act of manipulating back to love is like exercise for the soul, and that is what gives us more innate power, protection, perception, wisdom, vision, and potential to create positive forward movement. And it is through these moments of authenticity that we gain the clarity to know an ego can never change an ego! Only the soul can do that. We innately know we have to love more and hate less to get more love and less hate. So...

Understanding that we don't have control over others, only ourselves, we can decide to be an example of appropriate human behavior people would want to follow. We can speak, live, and exemplify the conduct we want to see; not what we don't want to see. Best case scenario: We can accept this as the perfect time in history for each one of us to realize our soul's desire to live up to our love potential. We can back down from ego and recognize that the good fight is real, and it is not with each other or our president or any other country or ideology. It is with ourselves. Let's remember that historically speaking, hate never won...ever...so why are we trying to make it a winner now?
#OneNationsHeart

Sick and Tired

What if we stopped calling it Obamacare or Trumpcare and just started calling it Medicaid Plus or something that does not prejudice an entire population of people? And what if those that don't qualify for Medicaid (but still don't make enough to purchase a policy) just pay a little something into Medicaid Plus on a sliding scale? Those who can afford to pay for their own private plans continue to do so, or pay for Medicaid Plus until we figure out a way to deregulate or regulate, fix or undo whatever is not working in the system itself...Will that, at least, stop the fighting, because the stress is killing us...Literally!

You may not want to continue reading if you like playing the blame game. Most of us intelligent and intuitive beings, though, know as a fact that going to single payer or staying as we were will not stop the cost of medical care from escalating. That will continue to rise and threaten to bankrupt states if we don't all step up and take personal responsibility for what we are contributing to the problem and the cost. Whether we are a patient or payer; a doctor or hospital administrator; an employee of the FDA, big Pharma, a school or the government; a parent, lobbyist, farmer, rancher, food manufacturer, or business owner; technology and product developers, even a member of the press, owners of television stations and creators of the programming...Anyone and everyone, including ourselves, who has an influence on our bodies, psyches, sickness, health, and wellness have a participation in what has gotten us into this mess. And every single one of us has the responsibility of helping us get out.

Unhealthy lifestyle choices and the stress that comes with them cost us trillions of dollars in medical costs, lost productivity, increases in crime, traffic accidents, relationship woes, divorce, loss of income, loss of happiness, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, spousal abuse, unemployment, disability, hostility, mental illness, depression, suicide, childhood issues that lead to adult disease, death, and so much more, as if that is not enough.

So as we all keep complaining about what others aren't doing to fix this problem, who among us is actually taking responsibility for their own body as well as their children's? How about diet, exercise, and your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual state of being? Who is taking the time to learn about hidden dangers that surround us? How about natural cures and our body's innate ability to self-heal? The power of the mind to hurt or help us? Energy and negativity that perpetuates itself?

Who is making a commitment to themselves and their family to do EVERY LITTLE THING they can to be the healthiest they can be? And if you are a person in a position to create positive change that will affect many people, are you doing the one thing you can do to help, or are you going with the flow of ignorance? Are you staying in a mindframe of blame, fault, and ridicule for what everyone else is doing or not doing?
I'm standing to unite us on this one issue: The primary reason our healthcare costs are escalating is that we are using the system too much! Prevention is the key to this mess we are in, and yes, fear, greed, laziness, and entitlement contribute; that is an absolute, but we "buy" into it, which is why it perpetuates itself. There are many simple solutions; things we can do right now! Are we smart enough, or should I say, sick and tired enough, to want to finally pursue them?