Donna Martini

The Windmills came to life after all.

2012-01-26T12:07:00.004-05:00

For me the wellness movement started over a decade ago when I sat at corporate breakfast meetings constantly hearing business owners complain about the high cost of healthcare. I would scan a room filled with a hundred people, many with pretty large bellies eating sausages and bacon, bagels and jelly donuts and wondered if they knew just how much they were contributing to the very thing they were complaining about. Exhausted by their ranting, I would stand up and voice my opinion. “You know we have more control than you think! Look around you. If we weren’t eating the wrong foods, smoking and drinking so much, we would save millions of dollars on doctor and hospital bills. The insurance companies aren’t gouging our pockets. The cost of insurance is high because we are overusing the system!” To this diatribe, I got a few understanding nods, but the majority of the room looked at me like a Quixotic fool. You could have stuck me on a skinny horse and called me Don, because almost no one was taking me seriously.

In the early 90’s, very little was said about food, diet and lack of exercise as the contributing factors of most illness. I understood because I was already healing myself of chronic ailments through diet change alone. I knew then that there was a tsunami about to hit. Like people who predict earthquakes or the crash of the stock market, I saw the healthcare crises rising like a tidal wave about to envelope small businesses and governments alike. I called it a wellness crisis though, and as opposed to other natural disasters, this one was manmade and easy to predict. It was also easy to repair…well, in theory anyway.

People wonder why I have 8 websites. Quite frankly, I need about 20 to cover all areas of concern. From the food we grow and eat, to the air we breathe; the buildings we are housed in to the environment we are surrounded by, everything points to wellness. Originally, my hope was to help kids learn how to eat properly, so I came up with Corey the Wacky Apple. Corey is wacky because he has lots of moods that relate to how he eats. At the time I was selling school furniture and athletics. Continually learning about ergonomics, I was acutely aware of the damage being done to our kids’ bodies by making them sit for hours in metal and plastic chairs. That led me to wanting to get yoga into the school curriculum, hence OmRoom Yoga was born.

It wasn’t long after that when I became concerned about the lack of spirituality in their day. I felt we needed a way to teach kids about sharing positive energy and goodness, so I came up with HeartRocks. After addressing the children, I kept asking, what about their parents? If we don't get them to buy the healthy food, the kids don't stand a chance. And if the schools didn't change the menus, how were children going to be able to make better choices? How do I get the educators to buy into the yoga movement? And what about the air quality in the schools? Water? Lighting? All made a difference in how they felt, which made a huge difference in how they learned, but the districts were slow to buy into the concept, and it felt like a completely uphill battle to try and get them to see where changes could be made.

My wellness mission expanded yearly and so did my need to educate and be educated. It took me on a journey into the green movement and the US Green Building Council. It took me to Albany and Washington to lobby and the American Cancer Society and the CIC of North Shore/LIJ to advocate. It led me down paths of schooling in Feng Shui, ergonomics, green and renewable building practices, solar and wind energy. My study of the human body stretched too as science caught up with what I already experienced, and that is how food and its bio-chemistry was affecting us all emotionally and physically. It was obvious that we needed to get back to basics, and when I started to get the word out about school and community gardening and the positive impact it would have on children, the Soil and Water Conservation District approached me to be on their board. Their main focus for this decade: To aid districts and townships in creating their own food gardens.

With more and more people, organizations and industries promoting wellness, I no longer felt like I was fighting the windmills alone, but even with all this movement, I was still being asked, “What is wellness?” The answer is as basic as life itself: It is the state of being well! No tricks and no hidden meanings, but we need to want it and take responsibility for it. We need to make ourselves aware of every facet of our body and how that relates to how we feel and act at any given moment of each day. Yes, it is exhausting! Yes, there is a lot to learn! Yes, we are swimming against a strong tide, with a huge wave looming behind, but there has never been a better time. TV shows, magazines, radio and websites promoting health are popping up all over, schools are getting on board and businesses are recognizing an incredible return on their wellness dollar—almost $6 return on every $1 spent. That is huge! And if we can continue to educate our kids about their physiology, the food they eat, the environment, sustainability, green building, renewable energy and all the issues in between, the world and our bodies will become cleaner and healthier as each decade passes.

Funny how everything old becomes new. We are going back to basics, and as we learn to use less machinery and grow what we need to eat; as we take out the additives and leave it to the earth to enrich us; and as we rely on natural resources to energize our bodies and our lives, we become a better society and a “richer” nation. The windmill of the past has become our savior of the future. Who knew? Truthfully, I have no problem answering to the name Don. I would rather fight for what I believe in and be considered a fool, than to not fight at all and never realize the change we all so desperately need to see.

COMMANDMENT VI: THOU SHALT KEEP THY OPINIONS TO THYSELF!

2012-01-22T13:47:00.003-05:00

Holding Your Tongue (Excerpt from “The Ten Commandments of Divorce”)

“How often do we hear someone trash their former spouse so vehemently you wonder how love could ever have existed between them? Some people can’t even say their ex’s name without slanting their brows in anger or snarling in disgust. When you are a parent though, you need to remember something of primary importance; the person you may have such disdain for is the father or mother of your child. You may also want to remember that you chose this person, you married him/her, and you vowed to spend the rest of your life with them. To trash them now in front of the very people who watched you take those vows would say more about your lack of discernment than it would about their faults.”

This excerpt from my book came to mind when I watched Newt Gingrich being eviscerated by his ex-wife. She decided that Americans needed to know what kind of husband he was. You should know that I do not condone any actions by this man, nor do I endorse him as a presidential candidate. This call-out is mainly to convey an important Commandment and to stress just how dangerous trash talk is. There are victims in this real-life drama; namely, his family and children. Did she think about all the consequences before she went public? Were her motives altruistic or vindictive? Considering how she may be portrayed by the public, was this attack on his morality worth it?

He said, she said, and then there is the truth. We all know that we as humans remember the events of our lives based on the emotions we feel. The truth is, EVERYONE has participation in the direction their lives take, irrespective of how much “blame” can be put on another person. In the end, we can hope to forgive and find common ground to share for our own sake and that of our children. Although this personal attack was difficult for Newt's family, many people in America believe it was necessary to expose him and his lack of sexual discernment…and they might be right. My question is, when it comes to pointing the moral gun at a presidential candidate, who should be the one pulling the trigger?

When good intentions go south (As seen in Long Island Business News)

2012-01-16T11:10:00.002-05:00

Article Written by Ambrose Clancy
Published: January 5, 2012

Two questions for January: How late can I still wish people a Happy New Year without sounding like an idiot? And, does my New Year’s resolution apply to weekends?
The first question is up for debate, but the second needs no answer, since it describes the pathetic position most people who firmly resolved to be better in the old year, now find themselves in the new.

Research at the University of Scranton discovered 45 percent of us make one or more resolutions a year, and research conducted by British psychologist Richard Wiseman found nearly nine of 10 people pledging to reform failed to eliminate bad habits.
Is it worth it, then, to make promises to ourselves to lose weight, or stop smoking or cut down on drinking, or generally lead healthier lives? Most experts say yes, and can point to that University of Scranton study, which reported that people who explicitly made resolutions in health-related matters were 10 times more likely to attain their goals than those who didn’t sit down and give themselves a stern talking to.

But there are dissenters, who say making resolutions is programming failure, and when the formerly pure of heart succumb to temptation, the crash can be crushing.

Eliminate the negative
Dr. Kevin Marzo, chief of cardiology at Mineola’s Winthrop-University Hospital, believes resolutions are important for those who don’t want to meet him in an operating room. But specific timing isn’t important.
“When it comes to resolutions, any day should be New Year’s Day,” Marzo said. “Make realistic, attainable goals and be specific. And remember, all meaningful change is slow. This is a marathon, not a sprint.”

Marzo added that too many people don’t accentuate the positive when making a resolution, but concentrate on losing something, such as weight or a habit. “You’re not losing something – like 20 pounds. You’re gaining something by feeling and looking better,” he said. The most essential resolution doesn’t require giving up anything except a little time, Marzo said. “Make an appointment to see your doctor and get an annual physical."

It’s not a death march
Kathleen Logsdon Carrozza, director of patient food and the nutrition service department at North Shore University Hospital-Manhasset, has advice for people thinking about resolutions: “Don’t make them.”

Logsdon Carrozza has seen too many people creating expectations they can’t meet, which can worsen the situation. “When you fall off the wagon, you start a downward spiral,” she said. The best method to become healthier is to silence the grandiose resolutions and start in a minor key. “A small thing that’s attainable becomes a great accomplishment, with the person saying, ‘I can do this,’” she said.
An example of a wrong-headed resolution is for cookie monsters to declare they’re never going to eat another cookie, Logsdon Carrozza said. “Two days later the only thing you’re thinking is, ‘I’m dying for a cookie,” she said. Better to resolve to skip cookies two days a week, Logsdon Carrozza advised, and munch away on the other days, gradually cutting back the intake.

The buddy system is good for positive reinforcement, she added, but it can become negative in a hurry. “You can’t have one person becoming a parent, telling the child what they’re doing right and wrong,” she said. “That can get nasty.”

Keep punching
Mary Languirand, a psychotherapist practicing in Garden City, believes making resolutions is a good method of improving your health. She also agrees when setting sail on a healthier life, it’s good to have shipmates. “Other people can offer lots of reinforcement,” Languirand said. Even if you’re heading toward healthier living without a buddy, it’s a bad move to keep resolutions to yourself. “Tell people about it,” she said. It’s not the end of the world if resolutions are broken. “Many people have ‘practice tries’ before real ones can be achieved,” she said.

In her practice, however, she doesn’t buy resolutions from some patients. If there’s a serious health problem, such as alcoholism or addiction to drugs, promising to be better doesn’t cut it. “We’ll talk about their employment and their health insurance and get them into the hands of professionals and rehab,” Languirand said.

Re-evaluate to resolve
The sides to the wagon weren’t high enough and you’ve taken a tumble. What now?
Donna Martini, an Oyster Bay author and wellness and nutrition consultant, advises not giving up but taking a history of the situation.

“Most people commit to a routine or a strict diet on Jan.1 and in three days, they can’t handle the drastic change in lifestyle and want to give up,” Martini said.
That’s the time to focus on specific goals. “I always start my coaching clients with an ‘elimination’ diet,” Martini said. This means taking out one food a week she characterized as a “saboteur” – bread, for example – and replacing it with something more nutritious. “Or with exercise, if someone is not exercising at all, we start with 10 minutes and build up,” she said.

Most importantly, Martini said, is the old advice of “know thyself.”
“Do a quick check on yourself by deciding to start your resolution right now,” Martini said. “Can you do it, or are you still looking for excuses to wait?”

Relationship Expert? "Not I!" said the coach.

2012-01-14T12:40:00.004-05:00

Many people call me a relationship expert, but to that I quickly answer, “In no way would I consider myself an expert on anything but being human!” Not to be coy or discount the work I do, but my claim to the relationship game is in helping people understand their participation in their own life and where their journey has taken them. I educate clients about the correlation between their body, moods and mindset, and I show them ways to appropriately manipulate (Positive Manipulation) the energy they give off and are surrounded in. All of my training and research has led me to an incredible, discerning awareness of how we can help ourselves chip away the negativity we encase ourselves with so we can finally “get out of our own way.” Only then can we set out to have our best relationships and our best life.

Through the process of coaching and also learning and study, I come across many teachings that are worthy of promotion. This weekend I read a book called, “Creating Love for a Lifetime…The Five C’s to a Successful Marriage.” The author, Kathy Infeld, and I met while doing a radio show last year and have been collaborating ever since. She is a relationship expert and has been counseling and coaching clients for over 20 years, utilizing her varied skills as a psychotherapist, mediator and coach. Our philosophies are very similar, and we each acknowledge that our backgrounds and specialties, although diverse, should be aligned so we can bring a more comprehensive program to the masses. She has been recommending my book, “The Ten Commandments of Divorce,” to her clients, and I have been talking up a storm about hers as well. Between the two writings, we cover all the bases to having a great relationship, whether it be in or out of a marriage.

If you are motivated to do the work needed to have a great partnership, check out this book and her teachings. I just love her energy, wisdom, intention and motivation to heal all those she meets. And more importantly, she shares the same mindset as I, meaning that there is more than enough room for all of us experts to come together and combine our strengths. After all, as humans we are comprised of so many facets, so should our healing methods and advice be as diverse. Spread the Goodness! D.

Kathy Infeld, MSNc, PMHCNS-BC
http://www.kathyinfeld.com/

Push-Pull, Understanding the Energy Dance

2012-01-08T11:39:00.002-05:00

Many of us don't understand, or I should say, are not in tune with what unseen factors are involved in every relationship we engage in. Whether it is parent/child, client/vendor, friends or lovers, there is a dance that takes place involving the energy we give off and the one that is coming at us. How we handle that energy can make a huge difference in the outcome of each and every encounter.
As a sales person, I always seemed to understand the needs of my clients. My motto was, "I want to make you happy to buy from me." Part of this creed came from my desire to save time. I really didn’t want to go after clients who didn’t need or want my services. The other was to recognize that I couldn’t accomplish my own goals, without first accomplishing theirs. Creating a symbiotic outcome should be every business person’s motive. With that come the close and the monetary reward that follows. I was very successful as a sales person, but for many years, I didn’t use the same principals in many of my other relationships. It took me some time to realize it, but I had a tendency to “push” my energy on those I wanted to help, and unfortunately, this didn’t always get me the result I wanted.
In order to create change, I started to look at what I handled well and tried to mimic it. I was always a good dancer. Not only could I lead (I always played the part of the guy in my all girls high school gym class), but I was able to pick up on the nuances of any dance when in the company of a great dancer. A strong lead senses his partner and then gently guides. There is no pushing involved, no ulterior motive other than a mutual coexistence on the dance floor. He should quickly ascertain his partner’s skill level and then appropriate his moves accordingly, not wanting her to be uncomfortable. When she is totally secure in the knowledge that she is safe in his arms, her moves will be relaxed, fluid and completely in tune with his. What I am describing here is the ultimate dance…when two people are sharing space and completely engaged energetically.
It seemed logical to me that all relationships were exhibiting some sort of dance; a give and take, a slight push or pull, a leader and a follower. There is always an engaged energy when people interact and there is no rhyme or reason to which place someone holds at any given time. The lead can be male or female, younger or older, more educated or not. When appropriate, you can decide to lead a person who desires guidance, or be the one that succumbs to the other’s strengths. As with any great dance duo, the main ingredients you need to posses in order to have a successful partnership is intention and willingness to be in tune with the others needs rather than one’s own. It is done correctly when each partner understands their position and direction, constantly adjusting their own motives to be aligned with the other’s requirements. It is done beautifully when both listen to the music they hear and move to the beat that their heart feels. Dance is a part of life, but more importantly, life is the dance. Enjoy!

Tis the Season to be Meloncoly, but does it have to be?

2011-12-26T07:55:00.003-05:00

It is no surprise to me that there are three times the amount of S.O.S. emails and phone calls coming in to my mail boxes this month. It has always been the Christmas season that brings out the worst in many people, and by that I mean, depression, anxiety, loneliness, dread and hopelessness. How can such a beautifully "dressed" season create so much negativity? Well, maybe we should start from the beginning…the beginning of the end, that is.
Just three months ago, we had more sun in our lives, more light, more time outdoors and most likely, more exercise. As the summer ends and the sun’s rays diminish, they take with it melatonin, serotonin, vitamin D and other hormones we use to stay emotionally and physically stable. When we feel the loss of the sun, we tire more easily and start to compensate by eating more carbohydrate rich foods, which makes us seem temporarily better, but actually puts us on an unmanned elevator ride. This elevator drops us physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, again and again, making a new cycle within that requires more and more of the same bio-chemistry to keep us going. For a couple of weeks, we may not see a huge difference in our personality, mental thoughts or body weight, but as the months go by, clothes feel tight, hormones shift, fluids become imbalanced and, well you know the rest of the story. It is no wonder that by the time we hear our first Christmas Carol, we are looking for a reason to complain about this season.
At this point, the scrooge in many of us starts to dread the coming weeks. We may convince ourselves it is world issues, our lack of this or that, money, job, marriage, children, and physical appearance or maybe life in general that is just too tough to deal with. We can’t wait for the holiday to be over, so we go into survival mode and allow the time to pass as quickly as possible in hopes that St. Nick’s arrival will also bring an end to our inner suffering. “January 1st is my new chance…a new attitude. I will start my new life in the New Year! I will eat better. I will work out every day. I will quit smoking. I will…I will…I will.”
The truth is that at the very first sign of our decline, we need to make that resolution—a resolution that dictates a New Day that can allow us to change our attitude at any given moment instead of waiting till the end of something. We need to make a promise that we will not allow our bodies’ temporary state of being to dictate the direction of our lives, but instead to take even more steps to stay stable, so we do not “fall” victim to the sudden drops in attitude. It is our decision, always, how we move up and down. We can always decide to feel good, to change our mental, physical and emotional state. This New Year can begin this new minute, and every minute of every new day, which begs a question to be asked—why wait any longer to start yours?

We Live

2011-12-22T18:11:00.002-05:00

We live in a world where people are dying because they don’t have enough to eat. Then there are those that are dying because they eat too much.
We live in a world where religious people give up precious time out of their lives for their faith. And some believe their faith dictates the need to give up their precious lives.
We live in a world that values education and a child’s need to learn. And then we teach them to value everything they shouldn’t want and don’t need to have.
We live in a world that remembers the names of all the famous and the rich. So much so that we forget all the worthy and the accomplished.
We live in a world that gives out stamps to feed the poor. And then we take care of those people when they get diseases from the food the stamps bought.
We live in a world that is filled with abundance and natural resources. And then we use them without having any idea of what we are going to do when they are gone.
We live in a world that wants peace. And then we go to war in order to get it.
We live in a world that is filled with light and love. And then we forget to turn them on.
We live in a world where people pray. Let’s pray for our world.
Written by Donna Martini, December 22, 2011

Excerpt from "The Ten Commandments of Divorce", Is there a reason we are surrounded by water?

2011-12-21T08:59:00.002-05:00

Is There a Reason We Are Surrounded By Water?

Negativity, like an untruth, resonates from our bodies. We are all connected by the same energy and give off vibrations that can be felt by one another. I have a theory that this activity is done through our fluid. I HAVE NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE TO PROVE THIS! But hear me out anyway. One day, I was watching a show about dolphins and how they can communicate with each other from miles away. I started to think, could it be that humans are just like dolphins, but that water works for us from the inside out instead of the outside in?

After asking this question, I came upon the movie “What the Bleep Do We Know.” (A great view if you can follow it. I have watched it about 16 times and still can’t absorb it all.) There was a segment in the film expressing the opinions of a scientist named Masaru Emoto. He believed that water could be manipulated by negative and positive energy so he went on a mission to prove it. In the movie, he showed how he could write positive messages, like “I love you” on a glass holding plain, ordinary water. Then by freezing the water, he could capture and photograph its crystallized molecules. He also did this using negative phrases and words like “I hate you” to prove there would be a disparity among the crystals.

The results were amazing! Water crystals formed by the positive phrases were beautiful and distinct, almost forming their own language. Conversely, the negative phrases produced ugly, ill-shaped, almost non-existent crystals. The outcome astounded me and made me realize just how on track I may have been hypothesizing about water as a communication tool. Mr. Emoto truly believes that water has intelligence, and why should we doubt this? Is it too hard to believe that we may be the less intelligent life form on Earth? Aren’t we consummated in water, then spend nine months surrounded by amniotic fluid? We are made up of over 80% liquid. We need it to survive. In fact, the only substance that trumps water is air. We emote with water through tears of joy and sorrow. When you think about it, why would we have the need to cry? We can lubricate our eyes without actually creating emotion. Ever think that crying is water’s way of saying, “Here I am, emotionally expressing myself!” Okay, this sounds flaky, but do we really understand all there is to know about our bodies and how they communicate with one another or for that matter, the Earth?

After viewing this movie, I started to relate how we resonate energy, how I always know when someone is lying and how I “feel and sense” untruths even when I don’t know any circumstances. Although I may be more in tune with these sensations than most, EVERYONE can feel lies. It may come across as discomfort, mistrust, or maybe even just a question mark in your head, but it is there. When we tell or hear an untruth, it is no different than the ugly words Mr. Emoto wrote on the water glasses. Our bodies will react, and then our minds will kick in and possibly come up with a scenario to match the emotion we are feeling. Most often, we negatively manipulate those emotions into more drama that may not be based on reality at all … and so the saga continues, over and over and over again.

Prologue Excerpted from "The Ten Commandments of Divorce"

2011-12-14T11:04:00.002-05:00

The “rude awakening” came late one night just a few months after the separation.

I was in bed, restless and very aware of the empty space next to me. Sleep seemed impossible, and with no one there to spoon with or share a hug, I decided to get up and seek the comfort of my 4-year-old daughter’s room. As I walked in, the sight of curly, blond hair spilling over white sheets stopped me in the doorway. The moon’s light was making her hair shine like a halo, and I slanted a smile thinking about how angelic sleeping children can appear. I tip-toed in, adjusted the linens, as all moms do, and then knelt down beside the bed. Her breathing had a soothing rhythm, and I found myself resting my chin on the mattress so I could listen and follow.

As I studied her tiny features looking for signs of stress, I wondered if her dreams were peaceful. It was a simple notion, but it caused a shiver that left me with a disheartening thought—if this separation has made me feel so alone and isolated, so completely unsettled I found it difficult to sleep in my room by myself, how must she feel? I tugged at the ear of the teddy bear she had tucked tightly under her arm and realized it was her only night-time companion since birth. Could she be as lonely and scared as me?

And that was when it came. There was no lightning bolt or room shaking, no ethereal voice from above, but there was an indisputable shift. My body was still mine, but my emotions were not. I felt the chill of her isolation, and my heart pumped with the fear, anxiety, and guilt that only a child of divorce could know. I fought the urge to climb into bed and comfort my little girl, lay my cheek next to hers and wipe the tears away, but I realized they weren’t hers… they were mine. Somehow I was being allowed to experience her emotions. Somehow I became her, if only for a moment. But that was all it took.

When parents separate, they are so wrapped up in their own emotional turmoil, they sometimes don’t realize how incredibly troubled the kids become. We put a roof over their heads, feed them, and make sure their surroundings are sound. We may get them into therapy, naively make statements like “everything is going to be alright,” and then send them off to school as if their perception of a normal life were somehow still intact. We split up their home and send them packing every other weekend to sleep in a new bed without grasping how dramatically their universe has changed. We know on an intellectual level what we are putting them through, but do we ever try to become them, to really get into their heads and hearts?

Up until that point, I was more concerned with making money and holding it together so I could organize the day-to-day workings of my new single-parent household. I wasn’t really considering how divorced my son or daughter must have felt. After all, wasn’t I the one whose world was rocked, who lost a surname, contact with most of my friends, and was going from couple to single? The truth is I never realized my children had a new status as well. There wasn’t a name or title for them, however; nothing to signify the change in their lifestyle. We don’t actually acknowledge kids in that way. I am a divorcee, but what do we call them? Society sometimes uses the phrase “products” of divorce, as if they were manufactured goods waiting to be distributed.

That night, in the serenity of Heather’s room, with only the moon as my witness, I had my epiphany, that ‘aha’ moment that allowed a new perspective, and I embraced it. I wasn’t just a mother to my kids; I was their family, a huge part of their world, and a link to the unknown that was unfolding day to day in their short-lived but significant lives. Without me, where was their maternal guide? Without me and my leadership, each one might very well become a “product”, a product of what the outside world wanted to make of them.

It was time to understand the significance of the culmination of my eggs and his sperm. No, the Earth wasn’t supposed to revolve around me and my woes. Instead, it was meant to orbit around the incredible creations God decided to put here. As man-made as my marriage and divorce were, Heather and Matthew were not my products, and as privileged as I was to give birth to them, these children were not mine to ruin.

Idle No More!

2011-12-13T08:03:00.002-05:00

This morning I took my cup of coffee to the window just to check out how the day looked and saw a typical winter site--a neighbor warming up their car. It prompted me to write this quick note to let everyone know, this is not necessary! Most people believe there is a need to idle their car before driving, but the truth is, only the engine gets warmed up that way. The wheel bearings, steering, suspension, transmission and tires also need to be warmed up in chilly weather and the only way to do that is to drive the vehicle.

According to Environment Canada (as the name implies, an environmental company in Canada), idling your car for 5 minutes increases fuel consumption by 7 to 14 percent. With a ten-minute warm-up, consumption increases to 12 to 19 percent. Besides the waste in gas though, think of the emissions and increase in carbon dioxide, which reach similar levels. Unfortunately, idling is just one issue. When I think about rubber necking, I get my engine going as well. We could cut millions of dollars from our fuel budgets and an insane and immeasurable amount of emissions from our atmosphere (not to mention our precious time!) if we just kept our eyes looking forward on our roads and highways. With all this to consider, why do we still do it?

Like everything else, there is lack of education, but if we keep talking, we can cut emissions and reduce our fuel use and cost, which also reduces our dependency. So have respect and don't rubberneck, and the next time you find your self idling during any season, think about the consequences and just pop into gear and go. The Earth will thank you for it. Spread the goodness! D.

Keeping the Peace in Divorce this Holiday Season

2011-12-09T09:12:00.002-05:00

The holidays are especially difficult for families going through a separation or who are already divorced. I wanted to give everyone in this situation some food for thought. Although it is painful for us as adults, imagine what it must feel like to the kids. Below is an excerpt from my new book, “The Ten Commandments of Divorce. How to leave your marriage without breaking up your family.” It is a tough reminder, but sometimes we need to shake ourselves a bit when we are in so much pain. Share this with your co-parent and express to them how much you want to make this easier for the children. Take a softer stance and the energy between the two of you will change immediately. My love and special energy goes out to you as you make the tough decisions this holiday season.

Excerpted from the Commandment XVIII

Becoming a Truth Seeker

In seeking the real truth, understanding how to create an altruistic goal is the most important aspect. In other words, you are now part of a divorced family. There should never be a “what is good for me” thought in your head. You are a “we,” and you have been since the day your children were born. As the saying goes, get used to it. You have to repeatedly check yourself and ask, “Are these emotions based on reality and are they helping or hurting my loved ones?”

Why am I being so tough considering many of us may not even want to be divorced? Because we got married, we had children and then our marriages ended. No matter who did what, we are living in separated but united family units, as crazy as that sounds. More than ever, we can’t just think of our own needs. Instead, we need to keep thinking about what is good for EVERYONE, and as soon as we do, the symbiotic (and truthful) solutions will come to us.

You Can Have Your Cake, but Don’t Eat It

I have a saying, “Never deprive yourself of anything. Instead, change your mind about what you want.” By this I mean, don’t think you aren’t getting what you want just because a situation you are in doesn’t come out exactly as you first envisioned it. Sometimes, we deprive ourselves of what is good for us because we don’t want to give up what feels good to us. I usually use this phrase when speaking about food, but it applies to all of life. To help you understand, use this analogy: If you decide to go on a diet then you must give up highly caloric food. You might feel deprived at first of, let’s say, chocolate cake. Decide however that you want an incredibly fit and svelte body and now, if you eat the cake, you will be depriving yourself of a new healthy physique. Which one do you want to give up? Which is more important to you?

I know this is going to sound unsympathetic, but as adults, we need to act responsibly and sometimes we don’t like the direction that sends us in. We should always do what is right, truthful, and even heroic because our children should always come first, but do each of us do that? Clients ask me, “Does this mean that I have to give up everything that I want?” My answer is, “No, it means that you need to start wanting what is right for everyone instead of just wanting what is right for yourself.” If you make it a goal to always do what is best for the family, and you achieve this goal, then aren’t you getting what you want? So ultimately, there is no deprivation, right?

Dr. Wayne Dyer says over and over in his books, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Alter, influence, or simply change (Positively Manipulate!) your mind about what you want and look at each circumstance from a multi-faceted perspective. If it is good for the children, your ex and yourself, then soften your view of what is happening in your life and consider it to be the best solution.

It's Time to Weigh in for the Fight of our Lives

2011-12-02T13:40:00.001-05:00

Even with all of the statistics and warnings from experts, childhood obesity has been on the rise for years. According to the Center for Disease Control’s 2010 data (taken directly from their website, cdc.gov), about one-third of U.S. adults (33.8%) are obese. Approximately 17% (or 12.5 million) of children and adolescents aged 2 to 19 years are obese. As high as these numbers sound, this doesn’t even include the overweight category, which is far greater. Soon, the obese will outweigh the average, making the U.S. of A. the main contender for the title, “HeavyWeight” Champion of the World.

The experts are aware of the causes. Our food has been manipulated and contrived to give a better yield and to repel pests, making it lack the nutrients needed to satisfy our bodies and almost impossible to properly metabolize. The meat, fish and poultry we have been ingesting contains so much corn (from feed) it is more like a carbohydrate than a protein. The schools’lunch and breakfast meals have been considered, at the very most, fill for the masses and greatly contributed to the issue, although I am happy to report, this has been slowly changing.

The rationale for the pudge we see on our children is obvious. So why then aren’t we changing the statistics? Why an incline instead of a decline? Our government is part of the problem since current laws and conditions allow our food to be bastardized. And this is not obvious to most people. The food looks the same, so how can we tell that it has less nutritional value? Commercials on TV promote wholesome concepts--some being outright lies (take the pro campaign for high fructose corn syrup as an example), but it is legal. Food labels are misleading, and the names of chemicals and additives have been changed to confuse the already frustrated public to such a degree that some of us are ready to grow our own veggies and raise cattle and chickens in the backyard.

So what is the answer? Maybe we should begin with asking the right question. In my coaching practice, I see children as young as 4, 5 and 6 battling weight issues (either under or over), diabetes, depression, IBS, celiac disease, addiction and learning disabilities that are linked, and often times caused by, poor food choices, intolerances, chemical additives and allergies. One of the first things I do when taking on these clients is to check out their kitchen cupboards for any and all food culprits. These are the known allergens and additives that I have seen time and again to cause a negative response in even the healthiest people. When I spot junk cereals, prepared foods like rice, pasta and chips loaded with MSG and sugar-laden cookies, I know I am going to get resistance from family members when it comes time to go shopping. One of my questions to parents is, “If you know it isn’t good, why buy it?” The response is always the same, “The kids want it. We buy it for them.” This remark makes me scratch my head. If we are trying to do what is best for our children, and most of us are, why would we poison them? Why would we spend money on fodder with chemicals? Why would we threaten their very existence for no good reason other than, “It tastes good?” When it comes to the childhood obesity solution, there is only one legitimate place for us to look…the mirror.

First lesson in learning how to be a good parent, remind ourselves of who the parent is! We have control over our pocketbooks and wallets. We know what is best, or at least, we know how to find out what is. We are the more experienced and intelligent in the equation, so we get to dictate what goes into our cabinets and what gets ingested by our kids. I know...it’s hard. They fight tooth and tongue to get what they want. I am a single mother of two, and have heard all the whining, but it doesn’t matter. “If the other parents were letting their kids jump off of bridges, would you allow yours to do that too? Sorry to scold with a joke, but maybe it needs to be said. The truth is simple to comprehend. There would be no market for sugary cereal if we didn’t purchase it. There would be no way the mega food companies could make a living if we said "no" to their manipulated foodstuff. There would be no obesity if we fed our kids from the earth and taught them that everything going in their mouths needs to count for something. Instead, we allow the TV to teach them, and we convince ourselves that the food they want to eat must be okay because the government allows it to be sold. I have only one thing to say about that…obviously the government has no idea what they are doing or we wouldn’t be in the “shape" we are in today! To conquer obesity, we have to take the corn-filled bull by the horns. We have to remember that our dollar counts towards more than just a bag of chips. It is used as an indicator of what American families are buying and eating. If we change what we spend our money on, the companies that cater to us will have to change as well. We are seeing this happen already, but it is not enough. We are still being taken as fools and we have to be more aggressive in our stance and our fight for goodness to be brought to our tables.

I have made it my life’s work to bring wellness to the masses, but this doesn’t have to be your mission in order to create significant change. You can help yourself and your family by eliminating the unhealthy choices. Make every dollar and every calorie count towards goodness and watch the change in the shape of your household. And while you are at it, start moving! Combine your workout with spending time with the kids. Turn on the Wii box before dinner and play a sport, or better yet, go down to the school yard and shoot some baskets. Go for a walk or turn on the radio and dance in the living. Don’t just sit around and let the statistics dictate the direction your children’s lives are taking. Let these numbers be your wake-up call. "No” is sometimes the most forward-thinking and loving answer we can give. Our family's health depends on it. We have to change our attitudes about what participation we have in getting ourselves in this shape. When we do, we take control. Let's make each decision count for the good, not the bad calories in life, and when our country wins the championship of the world fight, it will be for our strengths, not our weaknesses.

Written by Donna Martini, 12/2/2011

With honor and love...

2011-05-30T08:41:00.006-04:00

Years ago, I was involved with a construction project on the fifth floor of an office building. We were in the paint phase of the project when an office worker from the floor below complained about the smell of the paint. We had to stop the project and put workers on overtime to complete it during the Memorial Day weekend when no one was around. Even though it presented no danger and the paint was water based, her right to breath air with no smell superceded our need to finish the space on time and within budget. Although I respected it, this woman's request seemed a little frivilous to many because there was no eminent danger. Still it was adhered to and I spent the holiday weekend enduring the complaints of construction workers, who were barking statements like, "Good thing she wasn't in the army, she couldn't have even handled the latrine!"

This event had a great impact on me. At the time, I was fighting for the rights of non-smokers and smoke-free environments. It was a short time later that I used the incident as an argument to legislators when trying to pass laws for casino workers in Atlantic City. "Why are we making sure office environments are safe from emisions like paint fumes, but others have to deal with Class A carcinogens from cigarettes? What makes one person's life more valuable than another?" The argument worked to put question marks in the heads of some decision makers, but the dent it left on me was far deeper.

Every Memorial Day weekend, I remember those painter's gripes. Even though this day is about honoring those who have died while under the employment of our Country, I think about how they lived, the conditions they endured, how they felt about being there, and if they had regrets. I wonder how the position of soldier even exists! Who wakes up in the morning and decides, "I think I will give up all the comforts of my life today for the sake of others"? How do we enlist soldiers to serve our Country in ways we as civilians can't even imagine and would never tolerate! While that woman complained of paint fumes, an army sargeant was somewhere in the world breathing in exhausts, emissions and carcinogens that probably can't even be measured on an EPA scale. At the same, time a computer specialist is on disability for an achy back and is asking for a better chair from his employer, which he has the right to do, but a soldier off from guard duty is sleeping on sand and gravel with his helmet as a pillow.

No one would argue that a secretary needs a headset for her phone so her neck won't get strained, but we allow a marine to wrench his shoulder walking ten miles in the desert with 50 pounds of gear in the hot sun. And sometimes it isn't even about the conditions we are in. How many of us can remember fretting about how to ask our boss for a personal day, but do we realize that at the same time, a young soldier is praying to be able to see his family again and asking God, "For one more day, can you keep me alive?"

It all makes you wonder, should we be offering more than just gratitude on Memorial Day? What is the best way to honor those we have lost or may be losing? Is it to just raise a flag and say a prayer, or should we be making a commitment to make ourselves a little uncomfortable and do something, anything, to show them what their lives and deaths have meant to us?

I am thinking, Memorial Day should be about doing, not just reflecting. It should be about the future, not just the past, and it should be ongoing, not just for today. I am going to stick some uncooked rice in my shoes this week, and each time I take a step, I will remember what comforts someone else has or is giving up for me. I am going to try and love and honor every one I come in contact with, because in doing so, I am loving and honoring the memory of every one of the tens of thousands who have died. After all, our Country's freedom means nothing if we don't have forgiveness, love, civility and peace amongst ourselves.

When a soldier loses his or her life, in that single moment when they know it is their time to go, I wonder if they ask themselves, "will this all be for nothing?" Sadly, that is a sentiment I can't change. But when they look down on me to check in every once in a while, I want them to see an American who is trying to live up to the precedent they have set. I want them to be as proud of me as I am of them. I will admit, I am not brave enough to do their job, but the least I can do is let them know, they did not die in vain.

A Partridge in a Clock Tree

2011-02-25T20:05:00.005-05:00

Last week was tea with Nana, our bi-weekly, although lately, monthly ritual. Nana and I have much in common even with our 43-year age difference. It would seem that I acquired my desire to "nest" from her, and I've been told, my gift for decorating. Now you must understand, this is not an ordinary gift. Magnificent feats of design and layout have been achieved by this woman, and dare I say, she is in a category not easily described. We have been known to condense the entire contents of a house into one room and never mind what has been accomplished with a can of spray paint and elmers glue. Having the need to be thrifty increased our creativity, and throughout the years, we have scanned the streets of her old neighborhood in Bensonhurt picking up rare finds at every garage and stoop sale we could walk to.

Nana has never lived in an apartment any larger than a thimble, so when I speak of her skill, you need to picture what she has to work with. Since moving to her Long Island home, however, I thought this "talent" was put to the test for the last time. I was wrong. Her zeal continues at 93, and the room she has been sleeping, cooking, dining, and entertaining in for 10 years was freshened and feng shui'd for what I would guess is the 100th time. I couldn't help but notice that she did not lose her flair either. I decided to take an inventory, because, even as her decorating partner, I couldn't believe how much "stuff" surrounded us. "Nana is that new?" This was the inquiry that started all the fun. "Oh", she says, "do you mean my new bird?" "How many birds does that make now?" I asked. She looked around. I looked around. Clearly, there were too many to mentally count. 26 birds (about 15 species) later, I was on a mission, and let me tell you, those feathered creatures had plenty of company with 13 cats, 6 dogs, 2 stetsons, 2 pigs, 1 rabbit, 1 horse, 2 fish, 4 elephants, and 2 eggs in a nest. In case she needed to know what time it was (even in the bathroom) there were 8 clocks. Then 36 picture frames, 10 pieces of faux fruit in 4 baskets, 14 plants and flower arrangements, 8 angels, 30 ginger jars and 2 ceramic shoes, 20 pillows, 13 tables, 3 plant stands, 7 chairs, 1 sofa, 6 dressers, and 4 lamps make it home.

I was a little exhausted after the count and sat down at one of the room's two dining sets. She poured me some more tea. "Donna Ann, did I tell you? When the maintenance man came to fix the window he said that I have the nicest, most well organized apartment in the entire complex!" Before I could answer her, my eye caught sight of a statue near the front door that I must have missed on my first go round. It was a bird and yet another clock in a fruit tree. I smiled. "It's just perfect Nana."

Ode to George

2010-11-18T09:23:00.003-05:00

George and I met almost 15 years ago when his best friend Mike (who was also his daughter Lisa’s father-in-law) married my mom. We weren’t actually related, but his son-in-law was my new step-brother, so we saw each other often at holidays and family gatherings. George and his wife quickly became part of my extended family, and I was pleased to have them. He was a happy person, always smiling, and had a compliment coming out of his mouth every time he saw me. He spoke to me as if he was my biggest fan, but truthfully, I shrugged it off thinking he was just trying to be nice. I enjoyed being around him, but we never really engaged in deep conversation or spent time one on one. He was 30 years older, so I don’t remember ever labeling him “friend”, nor did I think about him as someone who was in my inner circle. He was defined as Pop’s best buddy and Lisa’s dad. To me, he was just a sweet person who happened upon my life.

It was only about a year ago though that his place in my “circle” changed. It was while I was bedridden for months from a serious illness that I realized how much more of a connection I had with George. During that time my mother would come over or call and fill me in on what was going on in the outside world. “George wants you to know he was asking for you. George called today to see how you were. George wants to know if you are okay. George calls me every day and asks, ‘How is Donna?’” As weeks and months went by, these daily messages meant more and more to me. I had plenty of time to think about life while lying in that bed; about who was there as a friend, and who I could count on. I thought about my prior encounters with George and wondered why he seemed so concerned. Did I affect his life enough for him to really care, or was he just a nice guy trying to be polite? Then I started to think, “Could it be both?”

One of the most beautiful aspects of being human is the connection we can create with other people. When we take advantage of it, we can share great friendship, love, affection, and everything from a gentle touch to a soulful bond. We go in and out of each other’s lives, make contact, and sometimes it is with a BANG, and on other occasions it is just a bump. When we are aware and fully present, we can take and utilize what the person is offering. When we are asleep and not paying much attention at all, we usually miss the beauty and the contribution to our life that each human we meet is giving. George made me think about connecting, about how we exchange energy, and how cavalier I was with his friendship. As I got stronger, my mind became clearer, and I realized he had been offering me a gift all along; the gift of touch. It wasn’t a hand to hand or cheek to cheek contact, it was heart to heart, and it was real. All of those compliments he dished out through the years, all of the warm embraces and questions about my life and kids; they weren’t just small talk and mild gestures. They were coming from a place inside of him that loved people and truly cared. He was a genuine and gentle man, a loving friend who was trying to touch my life, and he was proving it every day of my illness with every phone call he placed.

Months passed, and as I healed, I continued to think of George’s kindness. His actions became a standard I was starting to use to evaluate other’s behavior, including my own, and soon I realized how superficial relationships can be. I decided I needed to adopt his attitude about life, and I made a pledge to go out of my way for others in order to mimic his kind ways. I also vowed to spend quality time with him the next occasion we were brought together. Unfortunately, I would only have a small window of opportunity to make that happen. Just a few months had gone by when I was told George had woken up slurring his words. Days later, surgeons opened his skull only to close him back up and declare he had one month to live. The day Mom called to tell me the sad news, I made her get my step-father on the phone and began to beg, “Please Pop, I have to see him. You have to take me to Flushing. Please arrange it. I really need to make sure I spend time with him before he dies!” Pop didn’t understand my urgency or apparent desperation, but he quickly made the phone calls and within a week, I was having lunch at the diner with him and “the boys” on his first post-surgical outing. Having the guys around made it difficult to speak one on one with him, but I believe we connected on a deeper level. Across the table, for the first time since we met, I allowed myself to feel the full impact of his energy, love, and goodness. I believed in the words he was conveying, and more importantly, I made sure he could feel my genuine concern for him in return.

Over the next two weeks, George underwent an additional brain surgery to try and lengthen his time, but there were complications and he slipped into a coma. Ten days later he died peacefully with his family all around him. I was happy that his ordeal was over. I was happy to have seen him one last time. I was happy to have known him. Closure was forthcoming, but there was a lingering energy that needed to be exchanged. It felt like there was one more message that was going to come through, and I wondered, “What else is left for George to teach me?”

The day of the funeral I woke up not feeling well, but knew I had to go to see him one last time. I left my house in the morning not expecting to experience anything more than sadness and a sharing of support for my step family, but at the church, I couldn’t stop crying. Water was just leaking out of me as if I had broken a pipe in my head, and as I tried to get in touch with the intense emotions, I looked around at all the people sitting near me. My tearful eye scanned the pews at the mourners I never met, to those I knew and cared about, and even to the funeral directors and priest. I realized that no one could possibly know what a profound effect George recently had on my psyche. He went from being an acquaintance I hugged at family gatherings, to a lesson I can embrace for life. A man who held my attention for moments at a time, to a person who captured my awareness and made me re-evaluate how I wanted to live. My heart was fully open and my view of how I wanted to share it changed because of his kind gestures and thoughtfulness.

However, there was more here than tears of gratitude. As the fluid drained, a new message emerged but this time, it wasn’t from George, it was because of George. There was the feeling of shame, of great disappointment in myself for “wasting” years I could have been learning from him and sharing a real connection. There was sorrow for not engaging in more thoughtful conversation and for not recognizing and accepting what he was offering to me. This message was emanating as an intense reaction to his death. Those tears were from regret; not an emotion I find even remotely useful, but it seemed so appropriate at that moment. My reoccurring thought was, “I knew him, but I never knew him. And worse, I never gave to him what he was trying to give to me.”

Funny thing about George is; if you would have asked me years ago to describe him, I would have said, “simple man”, meaning he was uncomplicated. Now, with him gone, I can say the same about the summation of the 81 years he spent here: It’s Simple! Love is not complicated. It doesn’t take more than a smile, a few thoughtful gestures, or a compliment delivered with genuine kindness to create the most positive effect on someone’s life. Now that he is a part of me, I hope to continue the tradition and I will never again take for granted the energy his memory offers. George, if you are listening, I got all your messages, and they finally came through, loud and clear.
XXOO With Love, Donna

Talk Show with Sandy Hill

2010-09-26T00:25:00.003-04:00

Visit Sandy's website to hear a one and a half hour interview with me highlighting all areas of wellness and healing. After visiting her home page, click on the show for September 25. If you can get through it, let me know what you think! D.

Free Doesn't Come Cheap

2010-09-05T11:37:00.003-04:00

Two days ago, I passed by a beautiful library in a neighboring town and said to myself, "I wonder how many people still use libraries and if it is worth keeping them open?" Before anyone gets angry with me, it was an innocent question. Going to the libarary has been a part of my life since I was a little girl. Books were like an escape for me, so much so that I built my own library in my house. Up until a few years ago, I was still using my local library 4 or 5 times a week, but since becoming proficient at researching through the internet, I stopped going more than once every 4 or 5 months. Also, I began to utilize book stores so I could sit with a cup of tea while listening to soft music playing in the background. I couldn't help but wonder if others were doing the same. And with all the budget concerns, school cut backs, and tax increases we have been subjected to, I was trying to figure out how we could continue to justify the millions it costs to run these buildings if technology was going to possibly render them obsolete. I love books and I couldn't imagine a world without free access to them, but I also couldn't help asking, "In the future, are books and the buildings they are housed in going to exist?"

I should never be surprised when I get an answer to a question I ask, but the timing of this one was incredible. Next morning as I was looking at the previous day's mail, I saw the familiar yellow paper that my own Oyster Bay Public Library's newsletter is printed on. This time I didn't scan it for 5 seconds before I tossed it. Instead, I actually read it, and was I shocked at what was highlighted on the front page.

*Every day 300,000 Americans get job-seeking help at their public library.
*More public libraries provide free wireless access than Starbucks, Borders, and Barnes & Noble.
*Two thirds of Americans have a library card, and for many youngsters it is the first card in their wallet. (I know it was mine!)
*Every day, 14,700 people attend free library computer classes, a retail value of 2.2 million.
*2.8 million times every month, business owners and employees use public library resources to support their small businesses.
*Every day, Americans borrow 2.1 million DVDs from libraries, more than is borrowed from Netflix.
*Every year, Americans visit the library more than we go to the movies and 6 times more than we attend live sporting events.
*US public libraries circulate as many materials every day as FedEx ships packages worldwide.

I don't know about you, but after reading these remarkable stats, I had an even greater respect for my local library. It also made me want to pay it a visit this week. Yes, "free" access doesn't come cheap, but in this case, it seems Americans are getting their monies worth!

Every Woman Matters

2010-05-05T15:39:00.006-04:00

Just a quick note to invite everyone to walk with me on May 16th at Jones Beach for the "Every Woman Matters Event" to earn money for the Katz Women's Center being built on the campus of LIJ/Northshore. As a member and volunteer for the CIC (Commerce in Industry Council) that is raising the additional monies (there was already a substantial gift given by the Katz family) needed to erect this incredible Center, I want to ensure you that your support will be helping more than just the hospital network. There isn't any person I can think of that hasn't been effected by an illness or injury, and when we are in crisis, there is most probably a local NorthShore affiliate that we are going to for treatment and care for ourselves or our family members.

Because I am a wellness advocate and believe wholeheartedly in prevention, I am on a mission to ensure that every person or group I work with is given an opportunity to learn what we all can do to maintain good health in all aspects; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But since going through my recent illness, I am more determined than ever to help make this Center a reality. The powers that be at LIJ/Northshore promise it will be a unique and inspiring place where women and their families can learn about and take advantage of all the aspects of healing. Where yoga, guided meditation, acupuncture, herbs, massage, and many forms of complimentary medicine will be conjoined with traditional medicine as methods of treatment.

Never before on LI have we seen a network as large as this take such a complete, body, mind, soul approach to illness. Just imagine being able to opt for acupuncture and aroma therapy instead of a painkiller and having it work just as well! I was told that my healing has been remarkable and my surgeon attributed the quick recovery to a lifestyle filled with yoga, pilates, healthy eating habits, and a positive attitude. (Of course, the great staff at the hospital helped enormously! I was never afraid and was handled with gentle hands every step of the way.) I want to see every patient go through an injury or illness with the same advantages as I had recuperating through mine.

Please join me and all the other supporters, along with KJOY on our first annual walk so we can enlighten, educate, and begin to change the way we view healthcare and the many aspects of self healing. It is time we decided to honor the beautiful bodies we were given. It is time to start a NEW DAY for wellness! D.

Simple things we can do to stay healthy

2010-03-04T16:27:00.003-05:00

This year has brought many stress factors to everyone. I don't have to recall them all right? Since times seem more difficult than ever, I want to offer some reminders of what we can do to help ourselves get through it with less stress on the body.

First, we are more prone right now to self medicate our moods with food, particularly simple carbs. This is the worse thing we can do to our bodies, but it is almost a given that we will crave sugar, pasta, bread, and other white stuff now. Instead of reaching for what will make you feel worse, here are a few things I reach for when the going gets tough: instead of a candy bar, try raw coconut and almonds. If you are not diabetic, you can toss in a few Giardelli 60% cocoa morsels. Believe it or not, it tastes like you are eating an Almond Joy! In place of the typical bread or bagel, try ezekiel english muffins (in the freezer section). They make it in cinnamon raisin. Use fresh peanut or almond butter and top it with apple butter (all at Whole Foods) and you will feel full for hours. When ice cream is calling your name, get out your blender and mix a fresh mango with some frozen mango; it makes instant sorbet and believe it or not, mango is incredible for you, has low calories, and no fat.

Need pasta? Try quinoa. It is a seed that mimics a grain but has almost the same amino acid structure as beef! You can make it into a casserole by adding Amy's organic soups (like lentil) or as a side dish with lots of veggies. Sometimes I put in raisins, almonds, sauteed onion and red peppers and it becomes a meal. p.s. Quinoa comes in pasta form as well, spaghetti, elbows, and ditilini.

In the winter, we don't get enough sun. Vitamin D is deficient in almost everyone so try to take it (D 3) and don't worry about overdosing. The recommended daily allowance is too low. Some doctors say to take 5,000 units or more. I have a sun machine in my house that I use all winter long. Expensive, but if you can afford it, it is worth every penny. Go to www.mercola.com and check out their offerings. If not, try a full spectrum light bulb for about $14.00. It does help.

Since our internal clocks are off in the winter, you may be reaching for the coffee a bit too much. Try switching to green and herb tea. They are medicinal so read the labels and find ones that will cure your ailments. Many have stress relieving factors. In fact, I can't even drink chamomile tea on a date because I start to yawn and fall asleep at the dinner table! My favorite brand is Yogi, but just look for any organic brand you might find. They are all good.

Omega III. I know you've heard it before, but are you taking it? Fish oil offers the best, but you need a really good fish oil, not one you buy in Costco. It has to be made from fish that are monitored for mercury and also it needs to come from the right part of the fish. I use Market America brand. www.marketamerica.com/donnamartini is my portal if you want to check it out. And finally, B vitamins for stress work really well. Either liquid or sublingual will get into te system more efficiently.

As far as exercise, anyone who knows me, knows I recommend yoga as the BEST form of stress relieving body work you can do. Walking and dancing are also great. By the way, the last two are free so no one has an excuse not to do it. Also, all of these help you to breathe (taking in more oxygen helps with stress and exercise enduces endorphins.) Lastly, drink plenty of purified water (with the minerals left in) and stay away from highly acidic foods, aspartame, and alcohol if you can. All of these throw off your bodies natural alkaline levels, screw with neural connections and hormones and make it harder to deal with stress factors.

Remember the Law of Attraction: What you think and feel is what you bring in so staying positive right now is key. We can't stay positive however if we are in a negative body! Do the little things and they all add up, I promise, and if you need any help, I am an email away! D.

Identity Tip for Facebook

2010-02-17T21:08:00.002-05:00

Call me paranoid, but I just want to put out a quick message to Facebook users and their children about putting birthdates on profiles. If you think about it, there is entirely too much info on there and can easily be retrieved by "friends" of friends and sometimes the general public. I know I'm a kill joy, but identity theft is serious, it's on the rise, and it is almost unavoidable in this tech world we live in. Just trying to keep everyone safe! D.

Every Day is the First Day

2010-02-12T07:48:00.002-05:00

We all know the quip, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life", but how many of us remember to use it when we need to? Today I beared the cold to start a new routine of walking with my neighbor. Truthfully, it took my commitment to help her get ready (in shape) for her daughter's wedding in Oct. After all, it's cold outside! I can go downstairs to my warm studio anytime I want and dance, do yoga, or bang on my drums for exercise. But I realized that wasn't enough.

Walking was one of the most satisfying forms of exercise for me most of my adult life. I stopped because of my illness last year and have felt the difference in my body and mental state. Although I continue to do other work outs, I was somehow avoiding walking, wanting (mostly needing) to stay close to home. The realization hit me that I may have actually been afraid to leave the house.

I challenge everyone to go past your level of discomfort to do something you may want to start but are afraid of or too busy to do. If wellness is what you want to bring into your daily routine, then walking is a great way to begin your "new life". It brings you out in the World and challenges your body (lungs, heart, breath) and promotes endurance. And it is easy! Anyone can do it in any shape. It is free. You can start at any time (like right now!) and you don't need any special equipment except a decent pair of sneakers.

When I encourage clients to start walking, I tell them to "just tell yourself you are only going to the end of the block and back. If you have to, walk to the mailbox and turn around, just do something to get yourself started." Invariably, we walk to the mailbox and say, "well I am already out here, I might as well go a little further." Then we go to the end of the street, and we say, "Okay, I feel good, let me do a little more." By "tricking" ourselves into thinking we don't have to go too far, we at least start the process. If we begin by saying, "I am going to start walking two miles a day, three times a week" we may put it off till we believe we will have more time. And guess what? We never start!

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. In fact this minute can start a new day. You don't have to wait till next week when your taxes are done, next month after you lose a few pounds, or get through a house project, or whatever reason you can come up with. TODAY, NOW is the best time to start. If you want even more incentive, buy a pedometer (today!) and have a contest with yourself (or a friend or co-worker) and see how many steps/miles you can build up to. It is worth the effort and will lead to more and more energy you can use for all activities. Good luck and let me know how you make out! D.

It was the Best of Times, It was the Worst of Times

2009-12-27T14:38:00.002-05:00

If you remember, this is the first line in "Tales of Two Cities". I am so happy to put 2009 behind me. I can honestly say, it was the worst year of my life. At the same time, I have never had so much healing, both emotionally and spiritually. So this is my year of the worst that turned out to be the best. I think I finally understand what Charles Dickens was saying in his profound interpretation of life.

Hopefully everyone can take the lessons out of this year's upheavals. So many of us suffered losses, but I also see many people changing their attitude and turning more to their spiritual side for comfort and consolation instead of laying blame. And believe it or not, those are the ones who are pulling out of the wreckage this "economy" has caused. Now we just have to get everyone to believe in their ability to change what is happening in the future.

We, the people: that is who makes up this great country. If there is something wrong with it, it means we got it there. It didn't just magically happen. And we have to use all the positive energy we can to turn 2010 into a period of growth and healing for everyone.

With our new County Executive coming into office this month, I am personally guaranteeing my participation in helping this Island become healthier. I learned this year (the hard way) that the saying is correct: If you have your health, you do have everything. It was always my mission to get as many small business and schools as I could to install wellness and fitness programs. Now more than ever (and with the help of our new legislators) I am determined to push my way into the doors of as many offices as I can. Since this is a new decade, we should create a new paradigm, a standard that all can follow. One that ensures the future health of our children and ourselves. More on this issue in the months to come, but for now: I pray for all of us to find our way in 2010. Happy and Healthy New Year to Everyone! D.

2009-12-11T09:46:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, a friend hurt me very much. My heart ached all day at the thought of his actions. Deep down, I don't believe he set out to hurt me. He was looking out for his own happiness and in the process, my feelings were tossed aside. I started asking myself, "Do I have the right to ask a friend to protect my feelings? Should I always consider that people are "human" and expect that they will fail me at some point, making it necessary to always protect myself?" Maybe hurting me was not his failure. Instead, could it be mine?

At my age, I should have been through this enough to understand the process, but it still hurts to lose someone you love and care for. Do we shut ourselves off, meaning; We keep our love and energy close to our hearts and not given so freely? Can we shut ourselves off and still have intimate relationships? How many times did I hurt a close friend and not even know it? In the game of life, who wins? The person with the most friends on facebook, or the person who maintains a single friendship the longest?

Since we are all human and will continue to be so, we can expect to move along in life and affect others, sometimes in a detrimental way. Almost every day, I ask myself to "do no harm" which is, essentially, the Hippocratic oath. Of course I am not a doctor, but since I coach, I am always afraid of the position I maintain in my clients' lives. I think it may be a great motto though for everyone, most especially for friends and family. If we think this way, how can we hurt anyone?

With the holiday season approaching, I would love to reach out to everyone I know and ask for forgiveness for anything I might have said or done to inflict even the smallest amount of discomfort. I have dedicated my life to helping others, but sometimes I am so focused on the goal, I may not see everything in between. Since this is the perfect time to remember Jesus' life and what he represented, (even if you don't believe he was the Son of God) I want to make a resolution to make every day I live and interact with people to count as a positive and for my energy to instigate goodness. More so, I want to forgive anyone else who knowingly, or unknowingly, hurt me.

We are all in this together, and no matter what, this year is going to be grueling if we don't come together for a common goal. Let's make it the year of friendship and help each other get through these tough times. After all, we don't have much else to rely on except love and friendship. The World is going to keep turning. It is up to us what energy we fill it up with. D.

It Only Takes One Voice

2009-11-11T12:05:00.002-05:00

Just recently a blogger blasted me for supporting and helping Ed Mangano get elected as County Executive. It made me realize just how crazy society is getting. As an advocate of health and wellness, I make it my job to get involved politically, because if I don't, I can't help create change. But even if I was a lay person with no aspirations of "changing the World", I would still want to be involved.

Does everyone realize that their vote counts? Did you know that you can call your local legislator any time and get answers or give opinions and make your voice heard? Can you accept that you are who the politicians are working for? Did you know that many politicians will readily admit that they don't always know how to make things better and are looking to the public for help in finding solutions?

Many years ago, my father died of lung cancer. I promised him on his death bed that I wouldn't stop talking about the dangers of cigarettes. I went out on a mission and alienated many people with my fight against second hand smoke. I can't tell you how angry people got with me for "sticking my nose where it doesn't belong." Fortunately, I was unwilling to quit and campaigned for many years in New York and then New Jersey, sending in letters and emails to whatever politician I could find., showing up at political events, and speaking at small business meetings. To my surprise, people listened, and albeit a small effort, I believe I helped change the smoking laws in NY and NJ.

I learned a valuable lesson from that experience and have not stopped voicing my opinions about wellness since. What would have happened if I and the other smoke-free advocates stopped fighting for you? What if we believed we could never make a difference just being one voice? What if none of us decided to stand up for our rights and yours? Basically, you would still be sitting in smoke filled movie theatres, planes, bars, and restaurants, getting sicker by the day from second hand smoke.

It only takes one person to start a revolution, but it takes many more to join in and create the change. I have no issue being scolded, laughed at, or even belittled for my work. For every one person who scoffs at me, there are many others who are happy for the effort. What I do need though, is for everyone who is on board with conquering the issues we are challenged by today to come forward and do something, however small they believe it is, so we can cummulatively create change. Write one letter, email, or make one phone call and give your thoughts and ideas to your local legislator. I promise and I know from experience that your ideas will be welcomed and most especially, will be heard. D.

Sorry I have been away so long....

2009-10-14T11:39:00.002-04:00

It has been a while, I know, but rest assured, I have not disappeared. I just finished "The Ten Commandments of Divorce" which is ready to be edited for publication. It is not the first book I wrote, but it is the first book that will make it out of my computer and into the hands of readers.

There was a miracle that happened to me this year. It came in the form of a disease. It gave me the opportunity to just "be" long enough to actually get my writings in order and into a concise book format. Before the sickness, I had every excuse not to write. In fact, I retired from a regular job to do this (writing) full time. Instead of knocking out a few manuscripts though, I dragged my butt for almost four years. Yes, I knocked out five websites and I did a whole bunch of other things, but never accomplished what I really set out to do.

It wasn't until I was stricken down and bedridden, did I decide to make a commitment to myself to have a book ready for publication by my birthday, which is at the end of November. I am happy to say that I kept that promise!

Laying still this spring/summer, more sick than I had ever been in my entire life, came incredible clarity. It was as if messages were being whispered in my ear, and in the shape I was in, I had nothing else to do but listen. I am not sure what precluded me from writing prior to my illness, but now I am so prolific, I am finding it difficult to turn my head off every night so I can sleep. The dam has broken and the words are like a flood I am trying hard to contain. Thank goodness I type 100 words per minute!

The first offering is for divorcing couples and may not suit your needs, but the second book, that has already begun to take shape, is for everyone. It is my goal to have it completed by the spring, and I am using all of you as a motive to do it. So here it is in "writing", my pledge: To all my readers who have followed me through the years, you have waited so long and I hope I don't disappoint you. To all new readers, my wish is that I can enlighten you, even if it is only 10 watts worth! And to all those who are looking to take the next step, I can't wait to offer you a new, healthy direction to take it in. Love and Peace, D.

A book that can create a life change

2009-08-10T18:15:00.002-04:00

Here is a really good read for anyone who has been on a healing journey. It is by Dee Wallace (the woman who played the mom on E.T.) and is called “Conscious Creation”. It is a little over a hundred pages and is a quick but thorough intro into manifesting what you want in your life.

Even though we were born to instinctively know and understand the rules of the Universe, we seldom learn how to take full advantage of it. Sometimes we are so stuck in our human-ness we forget just how powerful our spiritual energy is. Through my recent illness, I have been up and down trying to hold onto that power. Being physically repressed (anemic, vitamin and mineral deficient) I found it so difficult and sometimes even impossible to hold onto a positive thought process. No matter how grateful I am for everything I have, my body keeps pulling me “down” and repressing the spiritual aspect, instigating the ultimate test of my faith in my ability to heal myself.

My manipulation process was really tested these last few months and I am grateful for it, because it is humbling me and hopefully making me a better teacher of the process. Having to constantly take myself out of fear or anxiety has made me more determined than ever to keep my goals and intentions in clear view. When we are healthy, we take a lot for granted. When we need to deal with heavy issues, it can break us or it can make us stronger. It is our choice how we handle it and our perception of what good it is bringing into us. No matter what our bodies encounter though, our spirit is always stronger, and that is what we need to hold onto.

If you have the time, please try and read Dee’s book. I especially liked her stories about the “100 monkeys” and how we can affect change through our energy. I always knew this and even wrote about it, but she has listed scientific evidence on the subject and explains it beautifully. Right now with everything that is happening in the World, we need to be educated and reminded about how we can create change within ourselves and the issues surrounding us. We (and our positive energy) can all make a difference…every one of us.

We can create change. So why aren't we?

2009-08-04T11:13:00.002-04:00

This morning on Fox Cable News I saw the head of Safeway Stores talk about how they implemented programs throughout their stores a few years back that have saved them over 40% on healthcare costs. I was excited to see this segment and at the same time, I was disheartened.

Many years ago I brought this concept to businesses throughout NY and NJ and got the brush off. Other people I have met over the years have been trying as well. It is like pulling teeth to get people to see just how easy it is to change the course of our Country’s journey to sickness. Unfortunately, no one wanted to listen.

With all forms of illness on the rise, most especially those related to obesity and smoking, why can’t we see just how much we need to take control before the government does? Maybe you don’t want to see your money wasted frivolously, but what about wasting your own resources? Yes, I mean your body! It is your only real asset and the only one you will be taking to the grave, because guaranteed, your family won’t be burying you with your money or your stuff. Instead, I want America to consider their one true positive feature, which is the body they have been wrapped in. How are you treating it and what are you doing to help it through the next 20, 30, 50 years?

So now things have gotten so bad that we need the government to step in and take over. This is something that rips me apart. I have been trying to get the government to create strict smoking laws for the last 17 years, and we all know how that has turned out. There are still States that allow smoking in public. Yet this same government is trying to get healthcare reform passed in 6 months. How can they do one without the other? Where is the sense in all of this?

What I know about politics I can fit in a thimble. What I know about wellness and our ability to take control of our bodies is limitless and I make it my job to discover new ways every day. So why aren’t the incredibly intelligent people in our government doing more to take away what is hurting us? Why isn’t there more money for the schools to change their food offerings? Why don’t we have no-smoking laws everywhere? Why can’t the government control more of the food industry and their corrupt practices of advertising and manipulating? Why wouldn’t they start there instead of trying to control paying for the sick? Why don’t we stop making people (most especially kids) sick in the first place?

I will never stop talking about this subject, and I hope the rhetoric does not alienate anyone. Instead, I hope it instigates change and allows people to take responsibility for their actions and their bodies. When we take responsibility, we can then take control. Safeway took control and changed their bottom line and the health of their employees. We can all do this, and it will effect major change forever. We have the power to do it, and we have the right motive (saving our resources). Now we just need to create the right goal; a healthy America. It is not about a Bandaid, people! It is about never getting a cut in the first place. D.

Just touching base with the World

2009-06-01T10:12:00.002-04:00

Wow is the only word I can use to describe these past months. So far, I have missed the month of May and half of April, and June will be half way through before I know the outcome of tests I need to take (to determine what the next steps will be for this disease, which truthfully is still undiagnosed). Even though I have not been a part of the World, I still feel connected through TV, although I am not sure how good that is. What a box of negativity!

Okay, so I play solitaire and do crosswords to try and keep my mind sharp (it's very difficult to write when you are very anemic...hindered blood flow to the brain I guess), but tv has been a companion of sorts. Keeping up with the news though is as painful as this condition, but instead of my colon being affected, it is my heart.

So much damage out there, so much hatred, anger, and oppression, no wonder we are so unhealthy. I have much to write about when my blood comes back full strength, but in the meantime, am I allowed to offer some unsolicited advice to all who are out there and going about your lives? PLEASE DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED RIGHT NOW!

If there is anything I can say without a doubt is we need to be thankful and grateful for everything we have and who we are connected with. With all the negativity out there, can you make up with your aunt, sister, friend, or co-worker, (you know, the one you have been arguing with) and remember the boys and girls oversees fighting for our incredibly real and terrifying issues? Can you come home tonight and just kiss your spouse and kids and say thank you for being in my life? Can you tell your boss or your employees, 'let's stick together and get through the tough times.' And finally, can you be thankful for everything that is happening to you even if it hurts because it is probably what you need?

I teach unconditional love. Sounds really corny right? Too bad. We need to hear it. We need to use it, practice it, and learn more about why we aren't manipulating ourselves more to give it. The World is hard to control, but we can't even control our own mouths, hearts, and actions when it comes to giving positive energy to others. Watch one reality tv show and you know we are in bad shape individually, let alone collectively. If we all just start being grateful and clean up a few loose ends in the 'giving love' department, we can change massive negative energy all around us. And guess what? Doing so makes you a happy person, minute to minute, day to day, no matter what is going on in the World.

Gratitude is hard when you are so down, but I have to say, I am actually thankful for my illness. Although it has stricken my body down so severely, I am now feeling an uplift in spirituality I have never felt before. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! for what power I am getting. I can't wait till my body can keep up with it and I can bring it out in writings and teachings. In the meantime, since I can't get out there yet, I need help. Go out and give a little gratitude today. If you feel up to it, throw out some goodness. And if you are really motivated, change a negative in your life using love energy. And if you do, write me about it. I am desperate to hear I still have the ability to inspire someone, even if I am stuck in bed. D.

A Humbling Experience

2009-05-15T10:12:00.002-04:00

It's hard to believe a month has passed since I have been able to write. Unfortunately, I have been ill for many weeks and trying to recuperate. Even though I have an incredibly healthy body, it seems a part of my anatomy (my colon) just doesn't want to be a part of the happy family.

On steriods and just getting back from the hospital, I am here to say that I have never felt more ready to let go of life. I have always had so much sympathy for ailing people and I make it my life's work to advocate for them, but this illness has taken me to the next level of appreciation for the strength it takes to want to keep going.

I keep asking for my lessons, willing to see and hear what I need to change in order to get better and get back to life. I beleive I was supposed to go through this just to remember how precious our health is and how incredibly vulnerable we are to the body we are housed in.

While I recuperate, I hope to have the ability to write more about what I am learning. In the meantime, please have patience with me as I try and build up my energy and gather what I need to get to the next level on my journey. I can't stress enough how much I will and desire for all of you to appreciate all that you have. Don't compromise the body that you are in and take care of yourself. It will be worth it. D.

Bloom Where You Are Standing

2009-04-18T10:36:00.003-04:00

That was the title of a book I read years ago. It reminds me that this is a very important time of year. Everything is being renewed and we should take advantage of the energy surrounding us by making changes and becoming our best selves. Do a little thatching and weeding (get rid of negativity you have been holding onto), do some fertilizing (fill your body with goodness and your mind with potent info), plant some seeds (make new goals) and then move forward with the belief that you will be blossoming in no time with the most incredible fruits and flowers you have ever seen.

Every day is a time for renewal, but during this season we have the benefit of everything around us rejuvenating so it is easier to get into the spirit of change and growth. This year, try planting yourself and see what happens!

Passover and Easter

2009-04-10T21:15:00.002-04:00

Did everyone know that the last supper was a seder? Or at least that is what some say. I think it is nice to share a celebration even it it has different meanings to different religions. The most important aspect to me is coming together, because we seldom do.

Years ago, it was so festive. My mother spent so much time shopping with us for Easter dresses in pastel colors with little white patent leather shoes and lace top anklet socks. Does anyone remember easter bonnets? I HATED wearing those hats! But back in the day, you were not allowed in church without something on your head. Today, I would LOVE to wear a bonnet! How cool to have a reason to wear a hat.

Times have changed, but the reason for the celebration is the same. I hope everyone finds the time to bring a little spirituality into your holiday. Remember what you are thankful for; Eat healthy and try not to use the excuse "it's tradition". New traditions can (and should) be started every year, don't you think?

Happy holidays to everyone!

Resistance: When Letting Go Still Isn't Enough

2009-03-31T12:24:00.003-04:00

Part of me feels I don't have the right to talk/write about this subject because I get into a state of resistance often and have trouble getting out. Maybe, though, this gives me an advantage, because the more often you have to do something, the more practice you get. Ah, who is kidding who. I haven't conquered resistance so all the more reason we should talk about it!

"Let Go and Let God." Great advice, but sometimes you can want to release, but part of you resists. Did you know that you can want and desire nothing more than to let go, but there are attributes you posses as a human that would totally preclude you from doing this? Yes, there are actually safe guards put in place that may keep you from seeing what is really inside of yourself that is resisting healing. Things that have happened to you from a very young age that are so terrifying or hurtful that your body and psyche won't allow you to "see" or feel out of fear you can't handle them. So if that is the case, how can you let go of them if you don't even know what they are?

We all have "drivers"; things that exist within us that push or pull us out of our soulful place of peace and tranquility and throw us into a tailspin of anxiety, anger, or fear. These drivers come from external and internal factions and sometimes we are not in control of how they make us feel. Part of the manipulation process is in recognizing what could be driving us at any given time. Another part of the process is to use the info to manipulate out of a mood, thought, action before it hurts us or others. But wouldn't it be great if we could get rid of the negative drivers in the first place? That (healing) is the best part of positive manipulation!

This is an open blog ladies and gents, and I would love your help in figuring out how to resist releasing. As much as I know about this process, I would love input from your own experiences in letting go and your resistance to it. Let's remember, there are physical, emotional, mental, and spirutual aspects to release so try and cover all the bases. If you have rid yourself of negativity that was extreme and would like to share it, we are all ears!

Making Amends

2009-03-16T08:39:00.002-04:00

This weekend I have heard of three instances of atonement, whereby a person who has done someone wrong came forward to apologize and try to make amends for their egregious act. I happen to be the recipient of two of those apologizes, one directly and one indirectly. It made me think it was too coincidental. There must be a lesson coming.

So I started thinking about what the lesson could be and of how the apologies made me feel. Truthfully, there was no impact. I think my first thought was, "Oh, how nice. They finally realized they could come to me and forgive themselves." Truth is, I had forgiven both parties long ago so there was no ease of my pain or significant change in my life. I was happy, however, that they could finally find some peace for themselves.

When we forgive someone of any act, we don't impact them as much as we help ourselves. It is really like saying, "I am okay with what that person has done to me. I am able to see their possible reasons for doing/saying what they did and I don't want to feel any more negativity on this issue or from this person. I forgive them. I can move on."

If you think about it, you completely sever the energy between yourself and the other person when you do that. It makes you wonder, does that break in energy cause the other person discomfort? I believe the answer is a profound, YES! And when you break that energy between yourself and another person, they have nothing to grab onto. There is no potential to hurt you again. So forgiving them is not a completely selfless act. Instead, it is a symbiotic gesture, meaning, mutually satisfying. And guess what...that is what is expected of us from a Universal standpoint.

You may not believe it, but forgiveness is the best thing you can do for yourself, and if you want retribution, it may be the only way it can come without ricocheting harm back to you in the future. By that I mean, if you retaliate in any way other than forgiveness, you are just generating more negative energy for yourself, not necessarily the other person. Forgiveness is the ultimate healer and if your motive is to teach the person a lesson, than it is the best teacher as well.

I am happy that I forgave the people in my life who have tried to cause me harm. I say try because in every instance, I learned valuable lessons that have helped me grow and learn. Every time I look back, I change the past. I never see what negative was done, only what positive came from it. If you don't believe we have the power to change the past, then think again. It is one of our most powerful assets as humans. Consider your past hurts and if you haven't already, forgive and don't forget......to look for all the good that can come out of it. D.

A little negativity goes a long way

2009-03-13T16:05:00.002-04:00

Many years ago I wrote an article for a Long Island Magazine with this same title. The premise was that even a small amount of negativity can create a huge reaction. The truth is, negative energy has very little power. Unfortunately, there is so much of it that it "feels" strong. Positive thoughts, actions, words and feelings are far more powerful and yet, sometimes they seems so difficult to utilize.

This week, a very angry person came on the blog to express their dislike for me. He/she believes I am a phony and an angry person because of dealings he/she had with me many years ago. Their negative attitude was so appauling to some of my clients that it generated an outpour of retaliation and anger towards "Anonymous". Of course I was happy to see so many people not have the same opinion, but truthfully, the "anonymous" writer didn't make me angry. It was so obvious to me that he/she was in pain, it made me sad. All I wanted to do was help them heal.

I don't know what day one wakes up and decides to love unconditionally. I do know that when it happens, you never go back. You never again decide to hate or even use derogatory words. When you get rid of anger, and replace it with love, your body rises off the floor. Your skin radiates from the inner glow. Your eyes sparkle from knowingness and your mouth flourishes with beautiful words. It makes you think, "why would I ever want negativity to effect me again when I can be like this all the time?"

When I get hate mail, and thankfully that is very seldom, I think of Jesus. He had so many people who loved him and yet he was hung on a cross and left to die at the hands of people who hated him. If he could take being cruicifed in that way, than I can take a little spewing from someone who most probably needs my help more than anyone.

The lesson here is quite clear, we need to heal what is within ourselves, to look at what is not right or what could be hurtful to others and decide to correct it. No one can judge another. No one can decide who is bad or who is good. Look behind the words of Anonymous and decide that you want to help them rather than ridicule them and you will teach them an entirely different approach to negativity; An approach that is attached with humility, empathy, and the kind of love that transforms lives.

A final note to Anonymous: the past is not who we are, it only details what we have been through. Who we are is how we decide to be, now and every minute of every day forward. Every day is an opportunity to start a New Day. D.

Can't Wait to do Yoga on the Beach!

2009-03-11T21:27:00.002-04:00

This is definitely my time of year. I am sorry to say, I can't handle the lack of sun the Winter brings, but thanks to my sunsplash machine that delivers vitamin D through my skin, I made it through this tough winter without too much trouble.

Soon, the weather will be nice enough to walk the beach in the early morning. Then after that, the summer will roll in with more and more light to enjoy outdoor activity.

This year, I hope many people join me in sunrise yoga at Roosevelt Beach. There is nothing better than starting your day facing the morning sun with salt air kissing your face. Come to think of it, I don't think there is any form of exercise that can bring you closer to nature than yoga, but I am sooooo prejudiced! Please blog me your idea of the perfect workout. Everyone needs a head start in Spring to get going. We want all the ideas we can get! D.

Healing is a full time job

2009-02-24T13:49:00.002-05:00

Today I received a blog message asking why I haven't put anything on my site recently. Truthfully, I am so "blogged" down with coaching and teaching that I have been neglecting my sites.

The good news is I am learning more and more every day and will be launching much new info in the near future. Families are healing, energy is shifting, bodies and lives are changing and I will be so happy when I have the time to report the details.

Please be patient with me. Many exciting things are happening and in the near future will be revealed. In the meantime, questions can be sent to me at donna@donnamartini.com or on the blog. I always respond no matter how early I have to get up. Be well and we'll talk soon! D.

To Eat or Not to Eat, Should that be the Question?

2009-01-08T08:32:00.004-05:00

As a wellness advocate I make it my business to read all the latest research regarding food and additives. It is a daunting task and requires much investigation and at the end of the day, I clutch at my heart knowing what we are doing to ourselves. Although much research still leaves us confused, there is one thing though that is always real; if your body can't handle something, it will tell you.

People always comment about eating in moderation. I have a saying, "The concept of wellness is an absolute. If something is bad for you, there should be no such thing as 'moderation'." Eating should be for living healthfully, not for entertainment purposes. Across the World, we are the unhealthiest nation, and I believe it is because of our attitude towards food and the concept of moderation.

Is it okay to have a cookie once in a while? Well let's look at that cookie really closely. Is it full of preservatives? Does it have ingredients that make your body have an autoimmune response? Does it change your mood because of the sugar? Does it make you crave even more? No matter how small a cookie is, it is basically a circle of chemicals. If it sabotages your body for even an hour, shouldn't that make you think twice about eating it? If eating is about fuel, why do we fuel ourselves with such junk and call it food?

My mother has three daughters, two of which have constant weight issues. All three of us have autoimmune disorders, learning disabilities, nutrient deficits, and stomach issues since birth. My father died of cancer, my step father has diabetes and high blood pressure, and my nana (my mother's mother) has heart disease. Still with all of these issues in the family, she insists on preparing huge meals with ingredients she knows are unhealthy. She relates her loving people with feeding them, but she doesn't realize that loving them is hurting their bodies. No matter what I say, it has no effect. She believes food is harmless.

Our entire nation has to change their atttitude about eating. We can't keep going with our heads stuck in the sand on the topic of food. We all have to take our bodies seriously, most especially because the government allows such junk to be put into them. When it comes to what we eat, it should be wholesome, it should come from the Earth, it should only enhance our body, mind, and soul, and it should make us happy because it is good for us. When we finally decide that being deprived of life is more important than being deprived of a cookie, we will thrive as individuals and then as a nation.

Some might question my right to scold America for their eating habits, but can I offer this explanation? I am the one that is called on almost every day to help a child with a mood disorder, or type two diabetes. I sit with young women while they have chemo injected into their veins. I am the one who drives people to get their six month CAT scan to see if their cancer is indeed in remission or if it has returned. I am the one who has written countless eulogies and poems for loved ones who have passed on.

To those of you who refuse to believe that food plays an intricate part in sickness and wellness: I can't fight with you, I can't plead with you, I can't reason with you right now, but one day you will be coming to me for advice after being diagnosed, and when you do, I will be there without judgment, holding your hand and helping you heal. And when you are ready, I will teach you to honor yourself and that incredible human body of yours, hopefully before it is too late. D.

New Year/New Attitude

2009-01-05T13:54:00.003-05:00

The days are getting longer, the nights shorter. Something to look forward to this time of year. It is also the time of new hope and beginnings. Hopefully everyone has made resolutions, but is this the year you are going to keep them?

I usually keep my promises to myself, but I have to confess, I only make promises I know I can keep. Maybe that is the secret to self growth; know yourself and the way you operate. Don't try to change the core of who you are, but instead, work harder to change your old belief systems.

Promise to be open to change and you have already changed. Yes, it is that simple! Try new things, don't say no immediately to new challenges, instead think about reasons to say yes, and try to keep your body as nourished as possible. A clean body denotes a clear head.

One of my biggest lessons in life was in understanding that tomorrow is not always a good time to do things. Today is better because tomorrow you will have more excuses and besides, tomorrow becomes today eventually, so why not just do it already!

Good luck and let me know if you need my help. D.

Bringing in the New Year

2008-12-29T08:58:00.002-05:00

Hello to Everyone! Hopefully today brings with it hope for the new year. Sadly, I have seen and heard many bizarre things in the last few months due to what is going on in the World. Many people are losing confidence in the Country and where it is heading.

I just want to remind everyone that the Country is not an entity, but instead, a place that we all reside. What I mean by that is WE make up the contents of our Country and we get to decide where it is going. Yes, I know we are not united on issues. In fact, I call us the "UNunited States", but we all do want the same thing; namely, love, peace, safety and happiness. The difference between us though is in how we go about getting love, peace, safety and happiness.

A long time ago, many Americans believed that happiness was having a wonderful home cooked meal with our family on the holidays. Now to some of us, it means getting a gucci bag or taking a trip to Aspen. This Country of ours is filled with so many people who strive for money to get the love, peace, safety and happiness. They can't seem to find it in the every day miracles. That has led us to greed, and I believe, the trouble that we are in today.

Americans seem to want more and more, and are not grateful for what they have. Most of us don't realize that gratitude is what brings in abundance, not greed. The more grateful you are for what you have, the more comes in to you. Also, the more grateful you are for what you have, the more you believe you have! That is the most profound aspect of loving your life as it is at this moment. You are always happy about your life when you take time to appreciate it.

My hope for the new year is that we all stop yearning for what we "think" will make us happy, and instead, find happiness with the lives we are now living. Even if you are terrified with what tomorrow may bring, decide that today you are grateful for something and believe that you have the power to bring in what you need every day. There are no quick fixes for the issues the World is facing, but if we all decide to change our attitudes about what we need and want, we can create a positive outcome. We can't wait for things to evolve on their own. We have to generate the change within our own lives first. After all, if we don't decide to help ourselves, who do we think will?

Is there a full moon or what?

2008-12-08T13:37:00.002-05:00

Is it my imagination or is the energy a little crazy lately? I have heard so many stories of behavior from people that doesn't make any sense at all. Could it be that the economy and fear of our future is getting the best of us?

Just a reminder; no matter what is going on in the World, you still have control over how you feel about it. Now is not the time to panic! The more level headed we are, the clearer we will see solutions to immediate issues. Worrying about the future helps nothing. Instead, plan.

There is another issue that many of us are not aware of. When we have anxiety, fear, or anger that stems from issues that seem out of our control, we do many things to help compensate. One of them is to self medicate with food and drink. The more emotions we feel, the more we tend to reach for the carbs. The more carbs we eat, the more sluggish we become which makes us even more anxiety ridden and less likely to exercise or think straight.

If you want to save money and clear your head, now is the best time to stop behaviors that don't help you anyway. Habits like cigarettes, drinking, candy, junk food, soda, expensive coffees, etc. are great ways to save money, your body, and clear your head.

Moods are generated from many instigators, not necessarily real issues. Remember that when you are anxiety ridden, angry or fearful of where America is headed. If we all become pro-active in our destiny, we can create change. NOW WILL YOU FINALLY TRY YOGA?! There isn't a better stress buster and you don't have to spend money. Rent a DVD from your library to get started. Grab a neighbor, friend, or family member and just walk. While going through my divorce many years ago, I walked every single night with opera music playing in my headset. Not only did I get through that stressful time with grace, I had the best butt of my life!

Go back to basics. Find your spirituality again. Meditate and if you don't know how, learn. Stop buying expensive junk food and go out to dinner less. Clean out your closet and find all the clothes you can refurbish for yourself or donate them. Invite a friend in need over to dinner. If you really want to feel better about your life, donate some time at a nursing home. Be thankful and have gratitude that the World is changing. Yes, I said have gratitude. If we don't feel desperate, we won't create change. So much of what is going on is necessary or we would never have stopped our behavior.

I don't profess to have the answers to our World issues. But I do have hope and gratitude and love and that makes me happy to get up in the morning. Spread your goodness and watch it catch on. Have a happy holiday! Love to you and yours, D.

"Whatever!"

2008-11-02T10:10:00.002-05:00

Only days left till the election and I am preparing for a “whatever” party, meaning; “whatever the outcome” celebration. This is the craziest election I have ever seen, full of energy and emotion. I am happy to see everyone rising to the occasion and become so into it, but I am hoping that when it is over, the patriotism and the willingness to be involved will continue.

I have written about it before and will try to dig up the articles to post, but my belief is that we should be called the “Un-United States” for our ability to dichotomize every issue right down to using our red and blue colors to delineate what side we are on. I am saddened at how we can’t agree on core issues and would love to be able to help our Country on a larger scale.

Im sure that my dyslexic mind precludes me from seeing the way others see. Most of the time, I struggle with learning and need to unravel things to understand them. In the long run, however, this has helped me to see what may not be there. For instance, I don’t see the healthcare crises as an issue. I see the condition of our bodies and our attitudes about health as the crises. Maybe my construction background has contributed to my views. After all, if I were to fix a ceiling that had water damage, I wouldn’t just spackle and paint without figuring out why it was damaged in the first place. The mentality that we are in a “healthcare crises” is crazy to me, considering the fact that we are one of the unhealthiest and obese nations in the World. It is no wonder why the healthcare system can’t handle it. But the question is, why aren’t we talking about creating more wellness instead of just reforming the way we pay for doctor and hospital visits?

So I am just a citizen and have no history or knowledge of government. I more or less understand the system, but still don’t know how to get anything done because of the political machine that is in place and the attitude that we should keep fighting instead of finding something to agree on. I am not complaining about it though. Instead, I chose to put my energy into educating you, the people of this great country in hopes that we can join forces against the real enemy; namely tolerance. As long as we tolerate what is happening to us, to our bodies, our surroundings, our money, our food, we will never create change.

What I really want is for everyone to get a little anxious, a little fearful, maybe even a little angry so we can all get up and do something about our situation. Instead of fighting about what side you are on, just do one thing, anything to change what you don’t like about your life. Believe you have the ability to create change and if you don’t know how, write me and I will help you find ways!

“Whatever” happens this election, we still have to do our part. We still have to stop fighting amongst ourselves, and we still need to bring wellness to our homes, neighborhoods, businesses, and schools. If each of us took responsibility for our own lives and that of our families, we wouldn’t be in crises, we would be in control. I hope this note doesn’t sound harsh, because there is no judgment. There is only passion and the need to rally for all of us and our kids. In the end, they will be made responsible for healing what we have been creating. Love to you and yours, D.

Election Frenzy

2008-09-14T11:07:00.002-04:00

The Campaign is a Rollin! Just so everyone knows, I profess to be an independent, and my vote has gone both ways in the last decade. I believe in choosing the best candidate, not the best party. So last week I posted my opinion of who I would elect, and then this week, decided to remove it. When it comes right down to it, I am extremely passionate about who I want to see in the White House. Feeling politically inept to comment on some of what is going on, I stick to what I do know to be true (head) what I feel (heart) and what my instincts tell me (gut). When I put them all together, I come up with a candidate I feel will do the best for the Country, and also, the World.

Unfortunately, the passion I go forward with every day in regards to health and wellness seeps into other aspects of my life, creating an energy that can be perceived as negative if one doesn't agree with what I feel or think. I am at a quandary because I want to make certain we all make the right decision about who we elect to protect and guide us for the next four years, but at the same time, I don't want to alienate someone who I can help physically, emotionally or spiritually. After a long internal debate, I decided I would rather remain neutral and stick to what I do best, which is help people find their best self.

The issues that exist in the World today are scary. Are they scarier then years passed? I don't know. Awareness makes it seem a lot more intense. I can't remember an election being more "energetic" or heated, but maybe that is due to what is at stake (World peace, global warming, economy) and the barriers (first black president or first woman vice president) that we are now breaking through. Very exciting times and very nerve wracking as well.

As we approach the omnipotent date of November 4, let's remember that in the end, they are all just human beings we are voting for and therefore, very fallible. The real job of making our lives happy and healthy is ours, and should never be left to anyone else. Will the abortion issue ever be resolved? Will the economy every come around? Will the war ever end? Truth be told, no one person had control over any of it! We all play a part. We can all make a difference and we all should be doing something, anything, for the causes we believe in, irrespective of what a politician is saying or doing.

If you believe in prayer, then pray for the best candidate to be elected. If you believe in positive action, get your facts straight and debate your issues with others who want to hear it. If you need to remain neutral because of your job or other issues, then bring forth your ideas and comments in the most sincere way and anonymously send it in the a newspaper or blog. Make a difference and follow your head, your heart, your gut. Love our Country, no matter what mess it is in, because it is still one of the best places to be in the entire World. D.

Fall Changes

2008-09-02T09:35:00.005-04:00

"I might as well enjoy the ride" said the parrot, as it was being dragged by the cat. This is a Russion proverb that I came across years ago and it made such an impression on me that I actually am writing an entire chapter on it for one of my books. It reminds me to look at everything that happens in my life as a pleasureable experience, no matter how difficult it may seem.

This past year, I have learned so much about myself and the Universe because I became more aware of daily occurrences that were teaching me lessons. I decided to have gratitude towards everything, no matter how hurtful or difficult life seemed to get. I learned about resistance and how we sometimes want to stay angry or hurt or sad. We stay where we are comfortable or what feels normal instead of actually changing our minds about circumstance. But the minute we decide to "enjoy the ride" we let go of struggle and at that very moment, the perceived unpleasantness ends.

Learning this process is easy. Implementing it, however, is the challenge. When we are stuck in our humanness, we can't see anything, but what is right in front of us, and our opinion of that is usually negative. Fortunately, our soul energy is only a decision away, meaning that as soon as we decide to feel good about a situation, it happens. "I don't want to feel this way" is a good place to start. You might not know where the cat is dragging you, but you have control over how you feel as you move along. Once you let go of indignity, or fear, or anger, you can make a plan on how to proceed. It is amazing how brilliant we can be when our mind is clear of negativity!

The fall is approaching and with it brings a crispness that can't be compared to any other season. It is the beginning of the end, so to speak. It is when the trees release their need to hold onto what is dying. It is when plants stop their struggle and just allow themselves to rest. It is when the animal kingdom prepares for hybernation. All of this hubbub is for a very special reason. Everything seems to stop, but in reality, laying dormant is really just another growth stage. Next year when the spring arrives, all that was at rest comes to life with even more strength and growth and beauty.

If we could be like the Earth and adjust to the changes around us instead of resisting, how strong can we become? This fall, instead of holding onto negativity, allow it to just drop off. Enjoy each experience of change no matter how scary it may seem. Look for the every day miracles and redirect your attitude and reaction towards what is happening around you. Be the parrot and instead of being dragged kicking and screaming through your life, stop resisting and take a look around at the view you are being granted. Who knows, maybe that cat is taking you to a place you could have never gotten to on your own.

No matter what, the season is going to change. Ask yourself, 'am I going to resist it or am I going change with it?

HeartRocks: New Website for Kids with help for our Troops

2008-07-24T09:22:00.004-04:00

Hello to Everyone,
Yesterday I launched a new website called www.Heartrocks.us . It is geared for children and teaches them that energy can be shared. The premise is about finding rocks in the shape of hearts and "gifting" to one another with positive energy and love attached. There is also poetry on the site and kids are encouraged to write their own, giving heartfelt sentiments with the HeartRock gift.

One of the reasons why I created this program was to promote the sharing of energy through gratitude, friendship, love and grace, giving kids an outlet for positive emotions to replace negative ones. When children understand that their energy can have an affect on others, they will be moe inclined to share the best of themselves rather than any negative they may be experiencing.

On the website, there is a "Rock Our Troops" program for schools that will initiate a nation-wide campaign to collect rocks for our soldiers over in the middle east. It is my hope that children will learn how valuable their energy is and how much it can help others in their time of need. The rocks will be attached to gratitude poems that the children will write themselves or download from the site.

Please visit www.heartrocks.us and pass it on to young people you know interested in tapping into their "power and energy". In the meantime, this email came to me today and I would like to share it with all readers, friends, and family. Let me know what you think.

From Sandy Adams: If the Red shirt thing is new to you, read below...

Last week, while traveling to Chicago on business, I noticed a Marine sergeant traveling with a folded flag, but did not put two and two together. After we boarded our flight, I turned to the sergeant, who'd been invited to sit in First Class (across from me), and inquired if he was heading home. 'No' he responded.' Heading out' I asked? 'No. I'm escorting a soldier home.''Going to pick him up?'' No. He is with me right now. He was killed in Iraq , I'm taking him home to his family.'

The realization of what he had been asked to do hit me like a punch to the gut. It was an honor for him. He told me that, although he didn't know the soldier, he had delivered the news of his passing to the soldier's family and felt as if he knew them after many conversations in so few days. I turned back to him, extended my hand, and said, 'Thank you. Thank you for doing what you do so my family and I can do what we do.'

Upon landing in Chicago the pilot stopped short of the gate and made the following announcement over the intercom:' Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to note that we have had the honor of having Sergeant Steeley of the United States Marine Corps join us on this flight. He is escorting a fallen comrade back home to his family. I ask that you please remain in your seats when we open the forward door to allow Sergeant Steeley to deplane and receive his fellow soldier. We will then turn off the seat belt sign.' Without a sound, all went as requested. I noticed the sergeant saluting the casket as it was brought off the plane, and his action made me realize that I am proud to be an American.

So here's a public Thank You to our military Men and Women for what you do so we can live the way we do: Red Fridays. Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the 'silent majority.' We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, Country and Home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized, boisterous or overbearing. Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops.

Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -- and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar, will wear something red. By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of red much like a home coming football game in the bleachers. If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, coworkers, friends, and family, it will not be long before the USA is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the once 'silent' majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on.

The first thing a soldier says when asked 'What can we do to make things better for you?' is 'We need your support and your prayers.' Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example, and wear something red every Friday.
IF YOU AGREE -- THEN SEND THIS ON.

Thought for the Month

2008-07-18T12:15:00.002-04:00

While looking through some miscellaneous writings, I came across this excerpt from a chapter I am writing. It sounds like a brain twister, but I thought I would put it out there for anyone daring enough to decipher. See if you can figure out what I am trying to say. I would love some feedback.

"When you embark on your journey to wellness, you begin to eat what you need and not what you want. Then one day you notice that your body starts to change your mind and you suddenly want to eat what you need. At this point, you may believe you have evolved. Instead, it is more probable that you have just revolved back to where you originally started from, but this time, with a healthier menu. " D.

It's Up to Us to Create Change

2008-06-25T09:03:00.002-04:00

Recently I was invited to become part of a business group on Long Island that had created a committee dedicated to wellness issues in schools and businesses. Sounded like a great fit so I volunteered to become part of the discussions. In a short time I received an email telling of the next meeting and the topics that would be discussed, namely, developing wellness programs in schools, educating business owners about employee health issues, speaking with hospitals and doctors about how we can cut insurance costs. The email ended with a last note: “bagels will be served.”

If it were any kind of traditional business function, the idea of serving bagels would cause a slight reaction in me, but this was a meeting about wellness. As far as I was concerned, serving bagels at a wellness breakfast was no different than serving beer at an AA meeting. After all, if we are going to educate people, especially children, shouldn’t we be practicing what we preach?

I quickly sent back an rsvp that I would attend, but politely suggested that we might consider serving fruit instead of bagels since it is a discussion about health. The director, a young woman in her twenties, responded with, “Donna, Everything in moderation!” I think it was the smiley face she stuck on the end of the sentence that did it for me. I wrote back a bunch of reasons why the words bagel and moderation would never fit in the same sentence for most people, including those with gluten intolerance, diabetes and stomach issues like IBS, Chron’s and Ulcerative Colitis. I then added, “If this group really believes in creating change, shouldn’t we start with the very meetings that we are using to create that change?”

After a couple more paragraphs I concluded with, “We have to walk, talk and act as if we are the very people we are trying to help and empower. I’m sorry, but if we are in crisis, moderation just won’t cut it. Please email if you would like some healthy options. I am anxious to help the cause.” Sorry to say, I never got a response from her or anyone else from the organization. When I arrived at the meeting, not only were bagels present, there were also pastries and muffins.

Initially my response to complacency about the state our Country’s health crisis is shock. I can’t say anger or judgment because I understand that most people just don’t know enough about the human body to make the right choices for themselves. However, when given an “expert” opinion and information gained from years of research, how do you ignore it? Obviously, I didn’t join the group, but it wasn’t because they ignored my email. It was because they are not motivated to lead by example and I believe that is the only way we are ever going to create real change amongst ourselves and our children.

Am I acting like some Don Quixote, fighting issues that don’t exist? Fifteen years ago, people told me I was crazy fighting for clean air and a reprieve from second-hand smoke. They don’t think I am so crazy now. The food issues in this Country are real and we, the people that make up the population, are the only answer to the problem. Unless we stop eating and serving the junk, the food companies will continue to make it and never come up with better choices for us and our kids. It is up to us. It always has been.

Simple solution for us all to follow: ALWAYS serve wholesome foods at every school and business function. It’s easy! There are many caterers that will be happy to offer healthy choices and if your source doesn’t, ask them to change or you will change and use someone else. Unless we stop eating what we know is not good for us, we will never be able to change the unhealthy course our kids are on, and that is no windmill I am fighting. That is fact. D.

Inspiration

2008-04-27T11:56:00.002-04:00

Spring is in full swing, and as the flowers start to blossom, I am reminded at how we can be inspired by each season in both negative and positive ways. While taking a shower this morning, I "heard" a message: "You are a judge of what has happened to you in the past. You are an expert at what is happening to you in the present. You are a novice at what is going to happen to you in the future and you are a student in knowing what your potential really is. Never confuse your roles."

This concept made me think, does a flower "know" what it is going to become as it lays dormant all winter? Does it start out in the ground saying, "I'm going to be huge and full of brilliant color this year!" or does it say, "I wonder if I will get enough water and sun to even break the soil today?" Just like the flower, we are somewhat dependent on the energy going on around us to propel forward, but if we wait around to see if the sun is going to come out, we will never get as far as if we learn to move forward despite what is or is not happening around us.

This concept is difficult to understand since most of us believe we don't have the power to change our circumstances or to produce the energy we need to change our lives. Instead we wait to see where the World takes us. While showering this morning though, I was reminded that we don't possibly have enough knowledge to know what greatness the future holds, we are perpetually learning, and more so, we are usually the worst person to ask in reference to our potential. One thing is for certain though; we will never know what we are capable of if we determine right off the bat that we don't have any power at all.

Have you ever really looked at a dandelion? Some think it is a weed, but isn't it really a very hardy flower? I think we should think like a dandelion and just come up despite whatever is going on around us. In the total darkness of shade, through concrete sidewalks, in arid temperatures and with no water, we should just be whatever it is we are led to be and not worry about what that looks like to others. To some a weed is something that is not wanted, but to the plant world, a weed is the strongest of plants, a perennial that can thrive anyway under any conditions.

As you watch your garden grow, pay attention to the hardy "weeds" and how they act, then think of yourself as someone with a direction that won't stop at anything until it is full grown and has explored every aspect this World has to offer. Use the spring as your springboard to wellness and newness and power. Then write to me and tell me how you did it so we can share it with everyone. Until the next inspiration....D.

Thank You Spring!

2008-03-21T10:57:00.002-04:00

This season is so overdue as far as I am concerned! From the equinox in the fall all the way through to the time change in Spring, I am craving and starving for the sun. Make sure you read the article from Dr. Mercola's site on the sun's beneftis and also the information about Vitamin D under "Physically Speaking". It may answer some of your questions about how to handle sun exposure this summer.

Just wanted to say that I am very happy about how many hits my site receives, but am unhappy to see how many of those people don't leave a blog post. Please remember, if the blog intimidates you, then email me at donna@donnamartini.com. I will be happy to put the post on for you. Also, if you are worried about remaining annonymous, the blog has an annonymous button and no one, even myself, will know who you are.

There are many new articles posted on both www.positivemanipulation.com and this site. Many more are on the way. I am writing as fast as possible. If you have any subjects you need to hear about, please let me know. In the meantime, have a great holiday and enjoy this remarkable season of new beginnings. I know I will! D.

To Err is Human......and Necessary

2008-02-23T10:43:00.003-05:00

Hello to Everyone! This morning I was looking for a particular writing of mine to give to a client and I found this excerpt. I want to share it because it describes the reason why it is okay to act "human". If we decide that our mistakes are lessons, we completely change the course of our life. I will describe more in future writings on PositiveManipulation.com, but for now, here is the excerpted chapters. Please comment or question if you need more understanding.

When venturing out to become your best self, expect your journey to change what is not so beautiful about yourself and trust that the “Universe” will compensate for any stumbling or occasional lack of direction. As a human with frailties, fears and doubts, you can’t possibly know the correct move to make at every juncture. You should be exulted to know, however, that despite your humanness, there is a stronger, purer power guiding the direction you are taking.

The reason for creating your goal is to set in motion, the energy you need to accomplish what you want. The motive attached is to enhance the goal and give an altruistic reason for acommplishing this. If you just had a goal without a motive, it wouldn't be as powerful. For instance, I set out to be the best person I could become. That's great, but when I added the motive; "so I could be a better parent for my children", it set in motion an entirely different form of Universal energy that would now help me to help others.

To further emphasize the need for a positive motive, understand that the goal you originally created can become omnipotent with the right motive and will protect you from yourself. It is as if it helps you get out of your own way, or should I say helps your soul energy take the lead over your human self. Once you have conveyed your goal and put with it a powerful motive, you only need to recount that goal/mantra (i.e., ‘to be the most beautiful person I can become for my family’) every time you encounter any trouble in order to stay on track.

The Positive Manipulation process comes in when you decide to make every juncture into a challenge and every “mistake” into a lesson. It is how you perceive the trials and tribulations of life that help or hinder your growth. The goal and motive keep you moving forward and no matter how far you stray, the Universe will put you back on track. But your decision to accept those trials as lessons will keep you from needing to learn them over and over, not to mention make you happier about your circumstances. With this attitude, no matter how much you err, it will only prove to teach you more and propel you further. So it is the powerful goal, the altruistic motive and the positive manipulation process that will take you exactly where you need to go in the quickest time with the most positive attitude all along the way.

Excerpt from Positive Manipulation on Losing Love

2008-02-08T15:56:00.000-05:00

On the topic of the ending of relationships (under the Talk to Me blog), here is an excerpt from one of the Positive Manipulation books that I wanted to share with everyone. It explains one reason why we attract people into our lives. Please don't take it as glib because it does not express the deep longing that comes with love, (remember it is taken out of context) but it does briefly explain why we sometimes only share a short time with a love interest.

Excerpt from Positive Manipulation: In reference to the Law of Attraction
Negative incidents definitely allow for growth, but be aware of people that seem to come in and out of your life. They do so in my case with great frequency. My theory is that since energy attracts like energy, it may be as if others sense my constant state of evolution and when they have the desire to create change in their lives they are drawn to the energy I exude, and vice versa. As fast as they come in, however, they seem to leave, perhaps for a breather, or maybe because we used each other’s energy to move beyond our current limitations to find our own way.

In the past, I considered losing this exchange of "love" energy as a cause of great sorrow, but I have come to accept this as normal human behavior and now welcome the growth that comes from it. I can acknowledge that we were placed on the same path because we had the same lessons to learn or the right energy to help each other on our journeys. I also acknowledge that it may only be for a short leg of the journey, and not the duration.

It is not easy to welcome losses, so instead, we need to change our minds about how we look upon losing love and accept a break up because it was more likely a lesson and not a permanent love placed in our lives. That can make it easier to let go of the pain associated with heart break, whether it was a friendship or lover. The best saying I can offer is what was told to me time and again; "Don't look at it (break up) as rejection. It could be protection!" As long as you hold onto that thought moving forward, you keep your positive energy flowing and that will attract more love and friendship aimed toward your highest good.

Is it Okay to Ask for Help? I'm Counting on it!

2008-01-31T16:53:00.000-05:00

What came first the chicken or the egg? I can’t decide whether it is an egg surrounded by a chicken or a chicken inside of an egg. By this I mean, there are the wellness issues and there are the people with the wellness issues. Which do I take care of first? Instead of trying to figure it out, I am just moving with the current and allowing the need of the moment to dictate where my energy is going to go.

So with the onset of the new business, all of the coaching, and the writing and editing for the book series, I am having quite a difficult time keeping up with the website updates. My hope is that everyone will be patient with me as I load the sites (there are four now and a fifth is on the drawing board) with articles and info. Here is a reminder that I am typing away every day to complete my mission and bring you more of what you want to hear.

If you have any burning issues that need addressing, please blog or email me. I'm right here! Our priority is to get as many adults and kids as we can on the road to wellness. But I could use your help in the form of patience and encouragement. I also need your input! Any articles or info you find that may be helpful, send them over. Also, if you have any testimonials on how Positive Manipulation, yoga, nutrition, diet, exercise or whatever, has changed your life, then don’t hold back! We need to hear it. Thanks and have a great new day! D.

Talk to Me....

2008-01-25T12:25:00.000-05:00

It's a cold sunny day in January as I sit in front of my computer and figure out a way to communicate with my target audience. Perhaps the easiest way is to just invite you to come and share with me and other readers your wellness issues and questions. Many of us are new to the blog venue, so we are all a little sketchy about how to go about initiating a conversation.

To put you at ease, all blog messages are filtered through my email and will be posted when appropriate, so your question or comment will not automatically appear unless it is viewed by me first. Hopefully that will make a first timer feel more comfortable. In any case, you can always email me at donna@donnamartini.com and include your permission to post the comment if you so desire.

When wishing to converse, just click on "comments" and follow the directions. Thanks for visiting and have a great New Day! D.

Welcome to a New Day!

2007-12-08T10:11:00.000-05:00

Hello and welcome to your new day! This site and blog were created to offer you information as well as inspiration to use on your Wellness journey. Please take what you need and give what you know so we can help heal the World of its greatest health issues. To post a response, just click on the word "comment" at the end of this blog. Thanks for visiting, and have a great new day! D.